[ Noctis is tired. He's exhausted, sad, and he doesn't remember when he'd last felt less like shit. But Ignis, Ignis is the silver lining in a cloudy day, and as he gets on his knees beside his tub Noctis is reaching out with a clean hand, drawing him close. ]
Don't be sorry. You've carried those for so long.
[ He presses his forehead to his, closing his eyes, exhaling a soft sigh. ]
A sign that all my years of training were not in vain. I always wanted to be strong enough to carry my share of the burdens.
[And he thinks back to all of those nights sneaking out beneath the stars, how late they would stay because Noctis would fall asleep and he wasn't yet strong enough to carry him back — and how proud he was, the first time he was finally old enough and strong enough to manage it.]
You are never a burden. And my arms will always be strong enough to carry you.
[ Noctis exhales softly, looking back at him in surprise. His hand comes to brush his hair off his face softly. ]
You've carried more than your fair share of them.
[ He's shifting in the water, his words caught in his throat as he presses his face to his neck, closing his eyes and seeking comfort. He's trying to put himself back together, and Noctis makes it easier. ]
[He shifts, too, once he senses what Noctis is trying to do, seeking to make the angle a little easier on him as they try to gravitate together despite the barrier of the edge of the tub in the way.]
I don't know that I particularly succeeded. But...I told myself that I needed to trust you. That you knew what you needed, and that I needed to give you the space to pursue it.
[He sighs, softly.]
I trusted that you would be safe, and that you would come home.
[ He says softly, muffled against his neck. Ignis tries, of course -- but if their positions were reversed, Noctis would be worried to death, too. Giving him space had taken a lot of willpower, and Noctis is grateful to him for it. He feels Ignis' sigh more than he hears it, and it's in Ignis that he hides and retreats, it's Ignis that's his home. ]
It was -- it was a lot. Too much.
[ His dad, dying over and over again. ] Everyone's memories, so many of them --
[ Does he tell the truth? Does he tell Ignis what he really saw, what haunts his days, his nights? He closes his eyes, shifting against him. It won't help Ignis, it'll only hurt. After all, Ignis had seen Regis as a surrogate father of sorts as well, hasn't he? ]
I don't wanna talk about that right now.
[ There. He can't bring himself to lie to Ignis either, but he's buying himself time, at least. ]
[He nuzzles against him, seeking purely to be comforting, and lets them stay like that awhile before eventually picking up his head and pressing a kiss to Noct's wiped-clean temple.]
But when you're ready, you know you can tell me.
[He dips his hand into the bathwater, scooping up a small handful, and pours it lightly over Noct's shoulder.]
[ He's moving away and dunking himself in the water, coming out waterlogged and adequately rinsed. He's offering him a small smile, wiping the sopping wet hair out of his face.
This at least cuts down the trouble he's making for Ignis, and it feels nice. ]
Better. I was worried about how I was going to tactfully push you under.
[It's a big help, though, and he dunks his hands into the water to get them wet before reaching for the shampoo bottle and squeezing some into his palm.
It's true, he hasn't done this for Noct in years and years, since they were children and Noctis still had chocobo- and moogle-shaped toys floating with him in the bathtub, but reliving that bit of nostalgia now seems...fitting, in the wake of the awful memories they'd relieved together recently.
He works his fingers into Noct's hair, using confident circular motions that lightly scratch at his scalp and coat each strand of hair in smooth lather.]
[ Any moment now, Noctis is going to purr. He's eagerly leaning into Ignis' skilled fingers, feeling them rub into his scalp in soothing circles, sudsing him up.
He feels like a kid again, together with Ignis, but with one key difference: they aren't, and Noctis gets to reciprocate.
Eyes lidding, he makes a soft moan despite himself, and reaches for his other hand. ]
I'm feeling I should do the same for you too. Show you how good it feels.
[He freezes at the sound that escapes Noct's throat, hand going still for a fraction of a second as his eyes widen just slightly and his breath catches in his mouth. It only lasts a moment, however, before his control reasserts itself, and then he's back to lathering, checking his voice to make sure that his words haven't gone ragged from the reaction.]
Some other time. I'm not the one who just spent days rolling around in the mud.
[Except that then it occurs to him — when Noct is at his moodiest, it's because he feels powerless and impotent, unable to change things outside of his control. So maybe rather than doting on him, protecting him, shielding him...
...Maybe what he needs is an opportunity to succeed at protecting something, himself. Hmm.
He considers this, reflecting on discussions they've had before, and then adds carefully —]
I admit I'm feeling a bit knotty in the shoulders, though, if you'd like to assist me with that once you're out of the tub...
[ Let it be known that Ignis is the ultimate perfect boyfriend, so attuned to what Noctis needs before he even knows that he needs it. Ignis is right; he's at his worst when he feels powerless and impotent, and here Ignis is, flawlessly returning to him some of that ability, letting him have a chance to do something for the one he loves.
He sits up a little, his disappointment at Ignis not letting him wash his hair forgotten. He hasn't quite connected the dots as to why Ignis would offer, but he appreciates it all the same. ]
Really? I mean -- I can totally manage that. I have magic fingers.
[ Funny how something this small would have such a profound effect on his mood. Funny how Ignis makes him feel like he could do just about anything, still. ]
I knew that already — every time we stopped at an elemental deposit. Lightning fingers, ice fingers, flame fingers...
[It's a weak joke, maybe, but it's enough of one that it makes him smile, and he digs in a little more emphatically to Noct's hair with renewed purpose. He'd meant for this to be a lengthy, relaxing sort of bath, but Noct seems more excited about the prospect of getting to dote on him instead, so perhaps the right tack is instead to hurry things along.]
I'd be so appreciative, though. All that tension gets difficult after awhile.
[ Noctis must have really worried him. And while he enjoys having Ignis dote on him, he likes the idea of doing the same to Ignis, too -- especially when he has a lot to make up for. He supposes he would be worried sick, too, if Ignis had gone off by himself and left just a note. He wants to make it up to him, and he makes a soft, appreciative little noise at the enthusiasm with which he washes his hair, snorting at that remark. ]
The best fingers.
[ Noctis is sure to tell him, rinsing off when Ignis is done with sudsing it up, and he's leaning over to kiss him softly, chaste and full of gratitude and affection. ]
[Again, Ignis finds himself at something of a crossroads — one that pits his immediate, instinctive reaction against a lengthier, more thoughtful notion. Instinct bids him to fluster, of course, and to step back a little to figurative arm's length. But this is far from the first time that Noctis has floated that sort of idle suggestion, and perhaps that ought to be a sign to Ignis that Noct is clearly thinking about an escalation of...well, all this — so why isn't he?
It's worthy of further thought, and so he tempers his kneejerk reaction, buying himself a few extra moments with smoothing Noct's wet hair back away from his face as he considers.]
I'd like that, I think.
[His tone is thoughtful, contemplative, as he genuinely does think his way through it.]
I'd like to go a little further with you than we have before, once you're out of the tub. If you're of a mood for it.
Oh. Noctis hadn't thought things through when he'd asked him to join him next time -- but instinct and affection had pushed it, the fact that he's ready for more with him, that he wants it, and clearly so does Ignis.
His heart skips a beat at Ignis' thoughtful response -- where Noctis had always gone with instinct and gut feeling, putting less thought and care into his words than Ignis, the other so perfectly complements him. ]
Yeah -- I mean, yeah. I'd like that.
[ He says hurriedly, lest Ignis thinks his hesitation has anything to do with not wanting it rather than his brain shorting out with that spike of lust. ]
[ Noctis blinks, taken by surprise by just how proper Ignis is about it all -- but there's something really, really hot about it, too. Ignis changing the sheets, remaking the bed, making sure they won't be disturbed. He likes it, that this is a thing that should be prepared for instead of rushing into, and Noctis nods, soaking as he waits for him.
He's ruminating on all the things that they could do together, thinking of how they want to take it further, and Noctis finds himself brimming with anticipation, his exhaustion and mood shunted to the side for the moment. There is a promise in Ignis' words, in the intimacy they could find in each other, and he wants it -- oh, he wants it.
Ignis doesn't want them to be disturbed, and as Noctis eventually steps out and drains the bath, feeling cleaner than he ever has in days, he's drying himself off with a towel and a nearby set of clothes; briefs, shorts and a shirt. He's thinking of nothing but Ignis not too far away, preparing the bed, making sure they're alone, and honestly if people think that's not hot as hell, he does have a few choice words for them.
Noctis is ready when Ignis comes for him, dried off and proper, his dirty clothes neatly put away, anticipation and desire curling in the pit of his stomach. ]
[In the time that their separation affords him, Ignis makes good work of all the tasks he'd spoken of setting himself to; he ensures that the house is vacant and that all of the wildlife has been recently tended to, so as not to prompt any unexpected interruptions, and then returns to the bedroom to swap out the admittedly fine (if a bit rumpled) sheets previously slept on in exchange for the luxury of crisp, fresh ones. He remakes the bed, piling on layers of blankets, and fluffs the pillows up to hotel standard.
He's timed it well, too; he finishes up at right around the time when Noct is pulling on the last of his clothes, so that when he returns to the bathroom to collect him, Noct hasn't been waiting all that long.]
You look comfortable. And much better, with all the dirt off.
[He takes him by the hand, walking backwards to lead him back into the bedroom in a sweetly romantic way.]
[ Noctis says recklessly, following after him and holding on firmly to his hand, unable to keep that smile from his face. This is good -- everything about this is what Noctis wants, because his life had just sucked lately and Ignis is the one good, shining thing about it.
He's more comfortable, more at ease, and he's closing the distance between them when they reach the bedroom, closing the door and locking it behind them. This time, he's gently nudging Ignis back against the bed, savoring the romance, the sweetness of his gesture. ]
Oh, you put new covers on them, too.
[ The bed looks so good right now, so welcoming, and Noctis wraps his arm around his waist, pressing up against him sleekly. ] Is today gonna be special?
[ Noctis tells him sweetly, just as gently closing the distance between them and kissing him deeply, tongue sliding against his, slow and sweet. His fingers are deft, unbuttoning his shirt to push it delicately off his shoulders.
He's taking his time with it, hands sliding over the bare skin of his chest, delighting in the ripple of muscles underneath. He's touching him because he wants to, because he's missed this, and without thinking he deepens the kiss, pushing him back towards the bed and straddling him. ]
[That's probably directed in vague approval of the way that Noctis is touching him, his acceptance of the way he's pushed down onto his back and granted the delight of Noct's warm weight pinning him to the mattress.
He's still warm from the bath, Noctis is, and his skin is supple to the touch from the lingering effects of the water; it's so easy to run his hands up Noct's bare arms to take him by the neck, one hand fitted against each side, and pull him down to keep him close as they kiss and kiss.]
I missed you, too.
[He brushes their noses together, then claims another kiss for his own.]
I worried every night, wondering if you were warm and safe. I wanted to go after you a thousand times.
[ He breathes, his heart hurting for him. His Ignis, loyal and gorgeous -- his Ignis, so very beautiful and so giving, and he falters only a moment before he passionately seeks him out, mouth against his, licking, laving, leaning into his hands.
He's greedy for him, every kiss and every touch setting him alight. He loves the hold Ignis has on him, and he's stealing another kiss, one more, in between kisses. His other hand comes to splay over his heart, rubbing over his stomach, his ribs, stroking him and feeling him up for himself. ]
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Don't be sorry. You've carried those for so long.
[ He presses his forehead to his, closing his eyes, exhaling a soft sigh. ]
I'm lucky to have you.
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[And he thinks back to all of those nights sneaking out beneath the stars, how late they would stay because Noctis would fall asleep and he wasn't yet strong enough to carry him back — and how proud he was, the first time he was finally old enough and strong enough to manage it.]
You are never a burden. And my arms will always be strong enough to carry you.
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[ Noctis exhales softly, looking back at him in surprise. His hand comes to brush his hair off his face softly. ]
You've carried more than your fair share of them.
[ He's shifting in the water, his words caught in his throat as he presses his face to his neck, closing his eyes and seeking comfort. He's trying to put himself back together, and Noctis makes it easier. ]
I'm... you were worried, weren't you?
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[He shifts, too, once he senses what Noctis is trying to do, seeking to make the angle a little easier on him as they try to gravitate together despite the barrier of the edge of the tub in the way.]
I don't know that I particularly succeeded. But...I told myself that I needed to trust you. That you knew what you needed, and that I needed to give you the space to pursue it.
[He sighs, softly.]
I trusted that you would be safe, and that you would come home.
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[ He says softly, muffled against his neck. Ignis tries, of course -- but if their positions were reversed, Noctis would be worried to death, too. Giving him space had taken a lot of willpower, and Noctis is grateful to him for it. He feels Ignis' sigh more than he hears it, and it's in Ignis that he hides and retreats, it's Ignis that's his home. ]
It was -- it was a lot. Too much.
[ His dad, dying over and over again. ] Everyone's memories, so many of them --
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[He tips his head a little more, inviting, leaving a sliver more room for Noctis to bury his face in the side of his neck.]
I know you saw my memories. What else did you see?
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[ Does he tell the truth? Does he tell Ignis what he really saw, what haunts his days, his nights? He closes his eyes, shifting against him. It won't help Ignis, it'll only hurt. After all, Ignis had seen Regis as a surrogate father of sorts as well, hasn't he? ]
I don't wanna talk about that right now.
[ There. He can't bring himself to lie to Ignis either, but he's buying himself time, at least. ]
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[He nuzzles against him, seeking purely to be comforting, and lets them stay like that awhile before eventually picking up his head and pressing a kiss to Noct's wiped-clean temple.]
But when you're ready, you know you can tell me.
[He dips his hand into the bathwater, scooping up a small handful, and pours it lightly over Noct's shoulder.]
Shall we get you clean, then?
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[ He's moving away and dunking himself in the water, coming out waterlogged and adequately rinsed. He's offering him a small smile, wiping the sopping wet hair out of his face.
This at least cuts down the trouble he's making for Ignis, and it feels nice. ]
Better?
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[It's a big help, though, and he dunks his hands into the water to get them wet before reaching for the shampoo bottle and squeezing some into his palm.
It's true, he hasn't done this for Noct in years and years, since they were children and Noctis still had chocobo- and moogle-shaped toys floating with him in the bathtub, but reliving that bit of nostalgia now seems...fitting, in the wake of the awful memories they'd relieved together recently.
He works his fingers into Noct's hair, using confident circular motions that lightly scratch at his scalp and coat each strand of hair in smooth lather.]
How does that feel?
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He feels like a kid again, together with Ignis, but with one key difference: they aren't, and Noctis gets to reciprocate.
Eyes lidding, he makes a soft moan despite himself, and reaches for his other hand. ]
I'm feeling I should do the same for you too. Show you how good it feels.
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Some other time. I'm not the one who just spent days rolling around in the mud.
[Except that then it occurs to him — when Noct is at his moodiest, it's because he feels powerless and impotent, unable to change things outside of his control. So maybe rather than doting on him, protecting him, shielding him...
...Maybe what he needs is an opportunity to succeed at protecting something, himself. Hmm.
He considers this, reflecting on discussions they've had before, and then adds carefully —]
I admit I'm feeling a bit knotty in the shoulders, though, if you'd like to assist me with that once you're out of the tub...
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[ Let it be known that Ignis is the ultimate perfect boyfriend, so attuned to what Noctis needs before he even knows that he needs it. Ignis is right; he's at his worst when he feels powerless and impotent, and here Ignis is, flawlessly returning to him some of that ability, letting him have a chance to do something for the one he loves.
He sits up a little, his disappointment at Ignis not letting him wash his hair forgotten. He hasn't quite connected the dots as to why Ignis would offer, but he appreciates it all the same. ]
Really? I mean -- I can totally manage that. I have magic fingers.
[ Funny how something this small would have such a profound effect on his mood. Funny how Ignis makes him feel like he could do just about anything, still. ]
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[It's a weak joke, maybe, but it's enough of one that it makes him smile, and he digs in a little more emphatically to Noct's hair with renewed purpose. He'd meant for this to be a lengthy, relaxing sort of bath, but Noct seems more excited about the prospect of getting to dote on him instead, so perhaps the right tack is instead to hurry things along.]
I'd be so appreciative, though. All that tension gets difficult after awhile.
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The best fingers.
[ Noctis is sure to tell him, rinsing off when Ignis is done with sudsing it up, and he's leaning over to kiss him softly, chaste and full of gratitude and affection. ]
Maybe next time... you'll join me in here.
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It's worthy of further thought, and so he tempers his kneejerk reaction, buying himself a few extra moments with smoothing Noct's wet hair back away from his face as he considers.]
I'd like that, I think.
[His tone is thoughtful, contemplative, as he genuinely does think his way through it.]
I'd like to go a little further with you than we have before, once you're out of the tub. If you're of a mood for it.
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Oh. Noctis hadn't thought things through when he'd asked him to join him next time -- but instinct and affection had pushed it, the fact that he's ready for more with him, that he wants it, and clearly so does Ignis.
His heart skips a beat at Ignis' thoughtful response -- where Noctis had always gone with instinct and gut feeling, putting less thought and care into his words than Ignis, the other so perfectly complements him. ]
Yeah -- I mean, yeah. I'd like that.
[ He says hurriedly, lest Ignis thinks his hesitation has anything to do with not wanting it rather than his brain shorting out with that spike of lust. ]
Wait for me? I'll dry off and get out.
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[But he leans to kiss Noct's cheek, intent on reassuring him in a similar way to Noct's hurriedness.]
It'll give me the chance to change the sheets and remake the bed. I'll come back and get you when things are ready.
[He pauses briefly.]
It'll also give me time to ensure that we won't be disturbed.
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He's ruminating on all the things that they could do together, thinking of how they want to take it further, and Noctis finds himself brimming with anticipation, his exhaustion and mood shunted to the side for the moment. There is a promise in Ignis' words, in the intimacy they could find in each other, and he wants it -- oh, he wants it.
Ignis doesn't want them to be disturbed, and as Noctis eventually steps out and drains the bath, feeling cleaner than he ever has in days, he's drying himself off with a towel and a nearby set of clothes; briefs, shorts and a shirt. He's thinking of nothing but Ignis not too far away, preparing the bed, making sure they're alone, and honestly if people think that's not hot as hell, he does have a few choice words for them.
Noctis is ready when Ignis comes for him, dried off and proper, his dirty clothes neatly put away, anticipation and desire curling in the pit of his stomach. ]
Is this good?
[ His getup, mainly. ]
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He's timed it well, too; he finishes up at right around the time when Noct is pulling on the last of his clothes, so that when he returns to the bathroom to collect him, Noct hasn't been waiting all that long.]
You look comfortable. And much better, with all the dirt off.
[He takes him by the hand, walking backwards to lead him back into the bedroom in a sweetly romantic way.]
How do you feel?
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[ Noctis says recklessly, following after him and holding on firmly to his hand, unable to keep that smile from his face. This is good -- everything about this is what Noctis wants, because his life had just sucked lately and Ignis is the one good, shining thing about it.
He's more comfortable, more at ease, and he's closing the distance between them when they reach the bedroom, closing the door and locking it behind them. This time, he's gently nudging Ignis back against the bed, savoring the romance, the sweetness of his gesture. ]
Oh, you put new covers on them, too.
[ The bed looks so good right now, so welcoming, and Noctis wraps his arm around his waist, pressing up against him sleekly. ] Is today gonna be special?
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[He draws Noctis in, entwining his arms around him in return to keep him close, and kisses him softly.]
...I'm a touch overdressed, however.
[And he brings their foreheads together, gentle, as he murmurs: ]
Would you like to take care of that for me?
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[ Noctis tells him sweetly, just as gently closing the distance between them and kissing him deeply, tongue sliding against his, slow and sweet. His fingers are deft, unbuttoning his shirt to push it delicately off his shoulders.
He's taking his time with it, hands sliding over the bare skin of his chest, delighting in the ripple of muscles underneath. He's touching him because he wants to, because he's missed this, and without thinking he deepens the kiss, pushing him back towards the bed and straddling him. ]
...Missed you.
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[That's probably directed in vague approval of the way that Noctis is touching him, his acceptance of the way he's pushed down onto his back and granted the delight of Noct's warm weight pinning him to the mattress.
He's still warm from the bath, Noctis is, and his skin is supple to the touch from the lingering effects of the water; it's so easy to run his hands up Noct's bare arms to take him by the neck, one hand fitted against each side, and pull him down to keep him close as they kiss and kiss.]
I missed you, too.
[He brushes their noses together, then claims another kiss for his own.]
I worried every night, wondering if you were warm and safe. I wanted to go after you a thousand times.
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[ He breathes, his heart hurting for him. His Ignis, loyal and gorgeous -- his Ignis, so very beautiful and so giving, and he falters only a moment before he passionately seeks him out, mouth against his, licking, laving, leaning into his hands.
He's greedy for him, every kiss and every touch setting him alight. He loves the hold Ignis has on him, and he's stealing another kiss, one more, in between kisses. His other hand comes to splay over his heart, rubbing over his stomach, his ribs, stroking him and feeling him up for himself. ]
I'm sorry. I'm sorry I went away.
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