[He sags a little now, like a puppet with its strings cut, now that the initial hurdle of admitting to a moment of weakness is over and he's coasting downhill on the ramifications of it.]
You carried me all the way back...
[A thin, hoarse laugh escapes him, but it doesn't bounce with mirth so much as it just sort of rattles.]
I wouldn't have thought — we'll have to tell Gladio. His work with you has certainly paid off...
[His Noct, tall like the king he's been told to be, wise with years Ignis still sometimes forgets he possesses. Had Noct grown up more than Ignis had thought he had, somehow, when he wasn't looking? In his eyes, there's always a part of Noctis that will be that little boy he met on his first day with the Citadel, shy and hiding behind his father's legs but smiling with delight when treated with kindness.
When had Noct become so much like Regis? Ignis doesn't know, but he slumps against him anyway, glad for the strength he finds there because it means he doesn't have to find it in himself, instead.]
[ Noctis tells him simply, but it's not with as much pride as it should be when Noctis is in a cheerier mood. He can hear it, the strain in Ignis' voice and how the sirens have done a number on him in his prolonged captivity. He's frowning, cupping his face and pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth.
He'll fix this -- Ignis is trusting him to take care of him, and Noctis will not fail him. He's grown up, you see, stepped into his father's shoes when nobody was watching, shouldering the burdens of the world, the kingdom, his loved ones in the days between. He's nodding briefly. ]
I need to make you something to eat and drink a little later. But I'll come back right after that.
[It won't take long, he thinks. Not now that he's back on soft cushion instead of wet sand and unforgiving rock. It won't be a good sleep, but he might at least doze a little, and at least if he's only semiconscious he won't be awake to miss Noct's presence so much.]
And if you could, help me...help me get the, um. Clean clothes on.
[ Noctis murmurs readily -- Ignis looks exhausted, and Noctis weighs the necessity of food, water against his need to rest, and decides that sleep should probably come first, the rest later. Who knew how long he had gone without sleep?
He immediately moves, too, to help him with his clothes. ] And yeah, of course.
[ Noctis is careful, changing out his trousers and underwear, cleaning him with damp washcloths so that he's comfortable, and keeping his gaze up, trained away from where Noctis knows he's... well, exposed. His purpose is to care for him now, all the others can wait.
Eventually, Ignis is clean and in a fresh set of clothes, a pile of washcloths in the tub of water he had brought in earlier. ]
[It's amazing, how much difference something as little as a change into fresh clothes can make. Slowly but surely, the feeling of finally being clean starts to take its hold on him, the same way that the softness of the mattress had, and his body starts to release its ironclad hold on the tension and adrenaline that he's been running on ever since his capture, letting exhaustion come rushing in to fill in the empty holes left behind by his drained reserves.
It's quite possibly one of the most unsexy moments they've had together, for all that it had involved Noctis stripping him down and tending to him. But it is a bonding moment in its own way, when he learns firsthand just how careful yet confident Noct's hands, so bold with a sword, can be when wringing out washcloths and dabbing mud and sweat from skin.
Soon, he's clean, and he's sinking sleepily into the bed, and he's just barely managing to keep his eyes open but Noct is still here, so he's got to make the effort.]
[ It might be deeply unsexy, but Noctis doesn't care -- the only thing that matters is that Ignis is safe and back with him, and that he's recovering, slowly but surely. Ignis must have been on edge for so long, captured with no possible way of knowing when he can be rescued.
Seeing him like this hurts Noctis' heart, makes his jaw clench and riles up an anger in him all over again -- he's never seen him so open and so vulnerable, but more importantly, he's never had the privilege of Ignis' trust like this, and it matters.
He's helping to tuck him in now, laying a soft kiss over his forehead, his cheek, lingering. All that matters is that he's safe now. ]
Mmm. I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep.
[His eyelids are already threatening to fall closed, his lashes long as he slowly loses the battle to drowsiness.]
Noct.
[There are a hundred things he wants to say, all of them grateful and vulnerable and adoring, but none of them manage to wind up fitted into words before the need to sleep finally overtakes him, and he drifts off into a shallow, fitful sleep beneath Noct's watchful gaze.]
[ Noctis doesn't move away when Ignis falls asleep, reluctant to put any distance between them. It was a night like this, too, when Ignis disappeared from his arms, and he swallows a lump in his throat. Noctis has never quite worked past his own issues about being left behind, and the last thing he wants to do is let Ignis be privy to it.
Ignis worries, and that's the last thing Noctis wants him to do.
He very quickly heads to the kitchen after a few minutes, pours a glass of water and brings out a plate full of leftover meat. Ignis had slipped from his grasp far too often -- first off when they had those ridiculous talking birds, and then now, too, with the sirens.
He tucks himself back against Ignis again, and falls asleep with him for a few good hours until he has to go to the bathroom. Quietly extricating himself from Ignis and the warmth and comfort he provides, Noctis goes to relieve himself.
He has to make it quick, before Ignis wakes up and finds him gone. ]
[He only intends to sleep for a few minutes, really he does, but then slumber takes a hold of him and the minutes quickly turn into hours, and the only thing that ultimately brings him around is the emptiness in his stomach, too insistent to ignore even in dreams.
It brings him around gradually, and when he opens his eyes it's dark, and he's grown so accustomed to the sight of the rocky beach that the cozy enclosure of their room is foreign and unsettling — and he's alone.
It's awful timing, but it is what it is. And he knows he shouldn't, but unable to help himself, the name falls from his lips anyway.]
[ It's awful timing, worse still that Noctis doesn't hear it at first over the white noise of running water as he rinses his hands. Oblivious to the burgeoning distress coming from his room, Noctis spares a moment to look himself in the makeshift mirror before he steps out of the bathroom, ready to return to Ignis.
He's going to have to figure out a way to keep Ignis in bed and resting, and make breakfast for the rest of them, but that can wait until morning.
Now, he just has to make sure Ignis is still there. ]
[What he might hear instead, then, is what happens after Ignis receives no reply, disoriented as he still is from being half-asleep and unable to parse what the sound of running water might mean. The covers rustle, and his good foot thuds as he swings himself out of bed, hobbling up onto his uninjured leg and hanging on to the mattress as he tries to chart out a path across the floor.]
Noct —
[Where is he? Where is he? He said he would come back.]
[Hopefully he's ready to catch Ignis, too, because he's slightly off-balance and his legs are weaker than he thought they were when he stood up, and he only just barely manages to keep his injured foot off of the ground as he tumbles forward into Noct's arms.]
I'm back, I'm back here, I'm sorry -- had to go to the bathroom.
[ He says softly, stepping up to catch him in his arms, wrapping them around him firmly. He's got him, keeping him securely braced as he guides him back to the bed, his heart racing. Ignis is distressed, and oh, he shouldn't have gone off on his own and left him to wake up alone.
Noctis is giving Ignis a gentle squeeze, fitting his body to his to show Ignis that he's present, he's here. He's not going anywhere, not for a long time. ]
Oh. He wasn't — he wasn't gone. Nothing happened. He was just — it was just an overreaction, absurd of him, ridiculous to assume the worst when it was only something routine, so minor.]
I woke up and...
[And. There was no reason to have a reaction like that, and it leaves him vaguely humiliated as he sags against Noct, absorbing the contact and trying to scrape together some semblance of dignity in the aftermath of his hasty, unfounded judgment.]
...Apologies. I should've...should've known it was only something like that.
I would've freaked out, too. If I woke up and you weren't here with me.
[ There's no overreaction, nothing to be sorry for. Noctis' words are quiet and firm as he gently corrals him back to bed, stretching over to the nightstand to fetch the cup of water he had left for Ignis for when he wakes up, offering it to him. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He says again, his other arm wrapped around him. Ignis isn't the only one with separation anxiety, and tucks him against his shoulder. ]
[It's like he's echoing Noct's own thoughts, forgiveness in kind and shared understanding for them both. He takes the cup of water slowly, but doesn't drink it; he only holds it in his hands, gravitating against Noctis and breathing slowly until he can manage to wind down again.]
[ Mutual reassurance. He's quiet beside him, letting Ignis unwind, protective and gentle as he continues to hold him, reassuring himself, too, that Ignis isn't going anywhere.
When Ignis next speaks, however, Noctis only nods, his mind already working overtime to treat it. ]
Yeah. Let me wrap that up for you later, okay? You're gonna need to be in bed for the next couple of days.
[ He knows how much it takes out of Ignis for him to ask Noctis that, and he leans forward to press his lips against his forehead in a slow, lazy kiss, gently nudging the cup of water towards him.
It's an improvement, the fact that Ignis is asking something like this of him, and Noctis reaches down to brush light fingers over his ankle, checking to see the damage for himself.
It's a bad sprain, and his breath catches at the extent of it before he sighs. ]
I'll carry you for as long as you need it. And I've gotta set some ground rules for you, too. No moving around for at least a week.
I don't have to stand to cook. You can find a stool, I'll put my knee on it...
[He hisses sharply, however, when Noct's fingers touch his ankle, which betrays the damage; even such a light, ginger touch is enough to set the nerves zinging.]
...Please.
[Again, this takes so much out of him, but he curls his fingers in Noct's sleeve and swallows his pride as deep as he can.]
Noct, please. Don't make me resign myself to being...useless. Please.
[ Noctis says sharply, more sharply than he's intended, and for a moment he's sorry about it. He takes a breath now, trying to get his thoughts in order before he can say it properly. Noctis has never been very good with words, but this demands that he puts thought into it, the care that he feels for Ignis but can never set into words.
Ignis' foot is badly sprained, and he knows it's going to take more than a week for it to be better, and he shakes his head. ]
You're hurt. You need time for it to get better -- it's not a matter of whether you're useless or not, because you never are. Do you get me? You've suffered under the sirens, and nobody's going to blame you for needing a few days to get back on your feet.
[Stung, and startled by the edge that comes with the sound of his name, he releases Noct's sleeve in an instant and almost but doesn't quite sit back, uncertain and burdened with the hefty weight of Noct's disapproval.
The rejection of his pleading aches almost as much as the humiliation of pleading in the first place; swallowing hard, he ducks his head and stays silent for a moment, chewing on his lower lip until that starts to ache, too.]
Is that what you think this is about? What someone else thinks of me?
[He draws away slightly, curling in on himself just a little.]
...You. Won't need, to carry me, then. I'll stay put. For at least a week. Just as you say.
[ He's messed this up somehow. Noctis isn't sure exactly how, but he has, and he's hurt his feelings right along with it. Ignis has always been better with words, better with people and their feelings, and Noctis comes along and messes it all up the way only he can.
He hesitates, words catching in his throat as he immediately regrets his own response. He should have been gentler, should have put more thought into this, and when Ignis shrinks away Noctis tries to close the distance. ]
Iggy. I'm sorry, I don't -- I would carry you anywhere you want me to, that's not the problem. I would always want to carry you, okay? I just.
[ He takes a breath. Okay, get it together. ] What is this about?
[In a different time and place, with different choices between them, Ignis might have demurred and deflected a question like that. If they were still young, if Noctis was still a sullen teenager and Ignis still too preoccupied with the big picture to remember how to read his prince's nuances, perhaps he would pull away and clam up, and that would be the end of it.
But they've made progress, the two of them. But Noct asked for his trust, asked to set aside their roles of retainer and king, asked to meet him and treat him as an equal.
So when the question comes, Ignis finds an answer, and voices it for his boyfriend's sake — and no one else's.]
It's about me.
[It's not much of a start, but it's something.]
It's — I don't. I don't want to be confined to bed. I don't want to be hurt so badly that I can't keep to my usual routine. I don't...want to be unable to do the things that are a part of me. Of who I am.
It's not about pride. Not about perception. I just...don't want to have to confront how easily something as slight as a sprained ankle can take away my ability to perform everything I know how to do.
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You carried me all the way back...
[A thin, hoarse laugh escapes him, but it doesn't bounce with mirth so much as it just sort of rattles.]
I wouldn't have thought — we'll have to tell Gladio. His work with you has certainly paid off...
[His Noct, tall like the king he's been told to be, wise with years Ignis still sometimes forgets he possesses. Had Noct grown up more than Ignis had thought he had, somehow, when he wasn't looking? In his eyes, there's always a part of Noctis that will be that little boy he met on his first day with the Citadel, shy and hiding behind his father's legs but smiling with delight when treated with kindness.
When had Noct become so much like Regis? Ignis doesn't know, but he slumps against him anyway, glad for the strength he finds there because it means he doesn't have to find it in himself, instead.]
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[ Noctis tells him simply, but it's not with as much pride as it should be when Noctis is in a cheerier mood. He can hear it, the strain in Ignis' voice and how the sirens have done a number on him in his prolonged captivity. He's frowning, cupping his face and pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth.
He'll fix this -- Ignis is trusting him to take care of him, and Noctis will not fail him. He's grown up, you see, stepped into his father's shoes when nobody was watching, shouldering the burdens of the world, the kingdom, his loved ones in the days between. He's nodding briefly. ]
I need to make you something to eat and drink a little later. But I'll come back right after that.
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[It won't take long, he thinks. Not now that he's back on soft cushion instead of wet sand and unforgiving rock. It won't be a good sleep, but he might at least doze a little, and at least if he's only semiconscious he won't be awake to miss Noct's presence so much.]
And if you could, help me...help me get the, um. Clean clothes on.
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[ Noctis murmurs readily -- Ignis looks exhausted, and Noctis weighs the necessity of food, water against his need to rest, and decides that sleep should probably come first, the rest later. Who knew how long he had gone without sleep?
He immediately moves, too, to help him with his clothes. ] And yeah, of course.
[ Noctis is careful, changing out his trousers and underwear, cleaning him with damp washcloths so that he's comfortable, and keeping his gaze up, trained away from where Noctis knows he's... well, exposed. His purpose is to care for him now, all the others can wait.
Eventually, Ignis is clean and in a fresh set of clothes, a pile of washcloths in the tub of water he had brought in earlier. ]
Is this better?
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It's quite possibly one of the most unsexy moments they've had together, for all that it had involved Noctis stripping him down and tending to him. But it is a bonding moment in its own way, when he learns firsthand just how careful yet confident Noct's hands, so bold with a sword, can be when wringing out washcloths and dabbing mud and sweat from skin.
Soon, he's clean, and he's sinking sleepily into the bed, and he's just barely managing to keep his eyes open but Noct is still here, so he's got to make the effort.]
Much. You're too kind.
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[ It might be deeply unsexy, but Noctis doesn't care -- the only thing that matters is that Ignis is safe and back with him, and that he's recovering, slowly but surely. Ignis must have been on edge for so long, captured with no possible way of knowing when he can be rescued.
Seeing him like this hurts Noctis' heart, makes his jaw clench and riles up an anger in him all over again -- he's never seen him so open and so vulnerable, but more importantly, he's never had the privilege of Ignis' trust like this, and it matters.
He's helping to tuck him in now, laying a soft kiss over his forehead, his cheek, lingering. All that matters is that he's safe now. ]
Mmm. I'll stay here with you until you fall asleep.
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[His eyelids are already threatening to fall closed, his lashes long as he slowly loses the battle to drowsiness.]
Noct.
[There are a hundred things he wants to say, all of them grateful and vulnerable and adoring, but none of them manage to wind up fitted into words before the need to sleep finally overtakes him, and he drifts off into a shallow, fitful sleep beneath Noct's watchful gaze.]
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Ignis worries, and that's the last thing Noctis wants him to do.
He very quickly heads to the kitchen after a few minutes, pours a glass of water and brings out a plate full of leftover meat. Ignis had slipped from his grasp far too often -- first off when they had those ridiculous talking birds, and then now, too, with the sirens.
He tucks himself back against Ignis again, and falls asleep with him for a few good hours until he has to go to the bathroom. Quietly extricating himself from Ignis and the warmth and comfort he provides, Noctis goes to relieve himself.
He has to make it quick, before Ignis wakes up and finds him gone. ]
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It brings him around gradually, and when he opens his eyes it's dark, and he's grown so accustomed to the sight of the rocky beach that the cozy enclosure of their room is foreign and unsettling — and he's alone.
It's awful timing, but it is what it is. And he knows he shouldn't, but unable to help himself, the name falls from his lips anyway.]
N...Noct...?
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He's going to have to figure out a way to keep Ignis in bed and resting, and make breakfast for the rest of them, but that can wait until morning.
Now, he just has to make sure Ignis is still there. ]
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Noct —
[Where is he? Where is he? He said he would come back.]
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[ This, he catches, and he makes a beeline for his room, rushing in just in time to catch him struggle to his feet.
He's coming to grasp his arms, eyes wide and concerned. ]
Iggy. Hey, hey. Where are you going?
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You said you were coming back —
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[ He says softly, stepping up to catch him in his arms, wrapping them around him firmly. He's got him, keeping him securely braced as he guides him back to the bed, his heart racing. Ignis is distressed, and oh, he shouldn't have gone off on his own and left him to wake up alone.
Noctis is giving Ignis a gentle squeeze, fitting his body to his to show Ignis that he's present, he's here. He's not going anywhere, not for a long time. ]
Are you okay...? Did you need something?
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Oh. He wasn't — he wasn't gone. Nothing happened. He was just — it was just an overreaction, absurd of him, ridiculous to assume the worst when it was only something routine, so minor.]
I woke up and...
[And. There was no reason to have a reaction like that, and it leaves him vaguely humiliated as he sags against Noct, absorbing the contact and trying to scrape together some semblance of dignity in the aftermath of his hasty, unfounded judgment.]
...Apologies. I should've...should've known it was only something like that.
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[ There's no overreaction, nothing to be sorry for. Noctis' words are quiet and firm as he gently corrals him back to bed, stretching over to the nightstand to fetch the cup of water he had left for Ignis for when he wakes up, offering it to him. ]
I'm sorry.
[ He says again, his other arm wrapped around him. Ignis isn't the only one with separation anxiety, and tucks him against his shoulder. ]
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[It's like he's echoing Noct's own thoughts, forgiveness in kind and shared understanding for them both. He takes the cup of water slowly, but doesn't drink it; he only holds it in his hands, gravitating against Noctis and breathing slowly until he can manage to wind down again.]
I think it might be a sprain. The...ankle.
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[ Mutual reassurance. He's quiet beside him, letting Ignis unwind, protective and gentle as he continues to hold him, reassuring himself, too, that Ignis isn't going anywhere.
When Ignis next speaks, however, Noctis only nods, his mind already working overtime to treat it. ]
Yeah. Let me wrap that up for you later, okay? You're gonna need to be in bed for the next couple of days.
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[But he was stranded on a rock in the middle of the sea with bigger things to worry about, at that point. One does what one must.]
Loath as I am to...admit to it...
[This is so difficult for him, and it shows, but he's trying to take their earlier conversation to heart, as best that he can.]
You...may need to continue carrying me. For a while.
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[ He knows how much it takes out of Ignis for him to ask Noctis that, and he leans forward to press his lips against his forehead in a slow, lazy kiss, gently nudging the cup of water towards him.
It's an improvement, the fact that Ignis is asking something like this of him, and Noctis reaches down to brush light fingers over his ankle, checking to see the damage for himself.
It's a bad sprain, and his breath catches at the extent of it before he sighs. ]
I'll carry you for as long as you need it. And I've gotta set some ground rules for you, too. No moving around for at least a week.
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[He hisses sharply, however, when Noct's fingers touch his ankle, which betrays the damage; even such a light, ginger touch is enough to set the nerves zinging.]
...Please.
[Again, this takes so much out of him, but he curls his fingers in Noct's sleeve and swallows his pride as deep as he can.]
Noct, please. Don't make me resign myself to being...useless. Please.
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[ Noctis says sharply, more sharply than he's intended, and for a moment he's sorry about it. He takes a breath now, trying to get his thoughts in order before he can say it properly. Noctis has never been very good with words, but this demands that he puts thought into it, the care that he feels for Ignis but can never set into words.
Ignis' foot is badly sprained, and he knows it's going to take more than a week for it to be better, and he shakes his head. ]
You're hurt. You need time for it to get better -- it's not a matter of whether you're useless or not, because you never are. Do you get me? You've suffered under the sirens, and nobody's going to blame you for needing a few days to get back on your feet.
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The rejection of his pleading aches almost as much as the humiliation of pleading in the first place; swallowing hard, he ducks his head and stays silent for a moment, chewing on his lower lip until that starts to ache, too.]
Is that what you think this is about? What someone else thinks of me?
[He draws away slightly, curling in on himself just a little.]
...You. Won't need, to carry me, then. I'll stay put. For at least a week. Just as you say.
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He hesitates, words catching in his throat as he immediately regrets his own response. He should have been gentler, should have put more thought into this, and when Ignis shrinks away Noctis tries to close the distance. ]
Iggy. I'm sorry, I don't -- I would carry you anywhere you want me to, that's not the problem. I would always want to carry you, okay? I just.
[ He takes a breath. Okay, get it together. ] What is this about?
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But they've made progress, the two of them. But Noct asked for his trust, asked to set aside their roles of retainer and king, asked to meet him and treat him as an equal.
So when the question comes, Ignis finds an answer, and voices it for his boyfriend's sake — and no one else's.]
It's about me.
[It's not much of a start, but it's something.]
It's — I don't. I don't want to be confined to bed. I don't want to be hurt so badly that I can't keep to my usual routine. I don't...want to be unable to do the things that are a part of me. Of who I am.
It's not about pride. Not about perception. I just...don't want to have to confront how easily something as slight as a sprained ankle can take away my ability to perform everything I know how to do.
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