[Disbelief, it turns out, is the first emotion to take hold. He'd been expecting the topic of this conversation to be something related to Ardyn, given Noct's affect and the immediacy of the threat he poses. The jump back to the fall of Insomnia is one that takes a longer moment to keep up with, cognitively, and the pieces aren't falling together neatly the way they ought to, reluctant to shift and accommodate this new information.]
When Insomnia fell, your father —
[Drautos? But he had been there. Standing there, behind the king, when they left. He remembers, even, that Noct had called to him. Asked him to take care of him —]
Who told you this? You're saying he was a traitor?
[ Here's the thing with grieving a loved one -- it doesn't end, not really. It could have been more than a year, and yet the memory is as fresh as the day it's happened. ]
Nyx came back. Told me -- he said it was Drautos.
[ Noctis says after a moment, hearing the disbelief in Ignis' voice. In the most morbid of ways, it comes as a relief, it means it's just as horrifying to another as it is to him. He takes a breath, closing his eyes to check the rage, the pain that simmers in there. ]
He betrayed all of us. He was the one who -- [ Sickened, he switches to another immediate thought. ] Ignis, I told him Dad was in his hands.
...He opened the doors for the empire. The failed peace treaty. He was the one on the inside...
[Nyx should be a reliable source of information, of course. He has no reason or motive to lie. Which means —
Drautos. All along, all this time, standing so close in confidence to their king, to Regis, to his second father, was an enemy waiting to hand them over to the Nifs.]
Is he dead?
[That suddenly seems very important to establish right now.]
[ He looks up finally, squaring his shoulders and forcing himself to get it together. He has to. Ignis is his anchor, the calming force -- it helps, that his anger is simmering, right there with his guilt, his grief. ]
Yeah, he's -- Nyx took care of him. [ His jaw tightens, sets, and he looks at a point over Ignis' shoulder. It's helpful, trying to get angry. ]
[ Ignis can't be faulted for assuming so, right? The first time Noctis heard about it, he'd bolted into the forest, wanting to escape this, anything, everything. He shifts now, despite his anger, finding a profound understanding in Ignis, and maybe... maybe this really is the better choice, sharing something terrible with the person you love. ]
I uh... I came to you. I've been thinking about you trying. And thought... I should try, too. To not be so wrapped up in myself. [ He rubs at his face. ] I mean, he was like your dad, too.
[He eases himself away, just enough that he can turn around without altogether leaving Noct's hold, and when he's facing Noct properly he gathers him into his arms, guiding him to tuck his head beneath Ignis's chin while he holds him tight.]
I couldn't possibly fault you for doing what you needed to, to assuage your feelings.
[ Noctis loves Ignis, of that there is no doubt -- he's spent many, many evenings tangled with him, hours learning more about the man that he's privileged to be with. He loves him, deeply, even if the words seem to be coming from far away.
Noctis lets himself be held, gathered into his arms as he presses his face into his neck, seeking him out instead of running, his own arms wrapped so tightly around him that he fears he might break Ignis if he squeezes any harder. ]
Drautos was Glauca, all along. Dad was -- [ murdered ] -- killed trying to protect Nyx and Luna.
[ It's why they survived. He grimaces, unable to keep a harsh, pained sound from his lips. Is he crying? No, no he can't. Cocooned here with Ignis, this feels... it feels better than the forest. It feels less like he's absolutely alone. ]
Shhh. One breath at a time, Noct. Go slowly, I've got you.
[Still holding him tight, Ignis finds himself suddenly reminded of a time when they were younger, when Noct would sometimes run to him like this after nightmares, and how after the marilith he wasn't able to run anymore but he would still seek out comfort like this if Ignis moved to him to offer it. He rocks back and forth, slow and easy, mostly silent but with the occasional soothing nonsense sound escaping his throat as he tries to console Noct as best he can.]
I know it hurts, darling.
[It hurts him, too. He doesn't try to hide it, or to rationalize the hurt away. Not this time. Not when the both of them have raw wounds reopened by this.]
It wasn't your fault. None of us knew — Clarus, the Marshal. No one suspected, none of us.
[ Could they have stopped it? Any of it? In this moment Noctis understands the horror of being wholly, entirely outclassed. They wouldn't have made a difference even if they were there -- and he wonders what his father felt, in those final moments. Was he afraid? Did he already know?
His grip tightens in Ignis' shirt, anger and frustration and grief welling. It should choke him, all of it, and he finally looks up, reminded that he's not the only one grieving, that this was Ignis' home, too. The people he loved, the life he's lived. ]
You must be hurting, too.
[ Noctis is not the only one suffering, he has to keep telling himself that. ]
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no subject
[Disbelief, it turns out, is the first emotion to take hold. He'd been expecting the topic of this conversation to be something related to Ardyn, given Noct's affect and the immediacy of the threat he poses. The jump back to the fall of Insomnia is one that takes a longer moment to keep up with, cognitively, and the pieces aren't falling together neatly the way they ought to, reluctant to shift and accommodate this new information.]
When Insomnia fell, your father —
[Drautos? But he had been there. Standing there, behind the king, when they left. He remembers, even, that Noct had called to him. Asked him to take care of him —]
Who told you this? You're saying he was a traitor?
no subject
Nyx came back. Told me -- he said it was Drautos.
[ Noctis says after a moment, hearing the disbelief in Ignis' voice. In the most morbid of ways, it comes as a relief, it means it's just as horrifying to another as it is to him. He takes a breath, closing his eyes to check the rage, the pain that simmers in there. ]
He betrayed all of us. He was the one who -- [ Sickened, he switches to another immediate thought. ] Ignis, I told him Dad was in his hands.
no subject
[Nyx should be a reliable source of information, of course. He has no reason or motive to lie. Which means —
Drautos. All along, all this time, standing so close in confidence to their king, to Regis, to his second father, was an enemy waiting to hand them over to the Nifs.]
Is he dead?
[That suddenly seems very important to establish right now.]
no subject
[ He looks up finally, squaring his shoulders and forcing himself to get it together. He has to. Ignis is his anchor, the calming force -- it helps, that his anger is simmering, right there with his guilt, his grief. ]
Yeah, he's -- Nyx took care of him. [ His jaw tightens, sets, and he looks at a point over Ignis' shoulder. It's helpful, trying to get angry. ]
I wish it was me.
no subject
[Who wouldn't, really. Who wouldn't wish it had been them, to make the traitor to their nation pay once and for all for what he'd done.]
You went out to the forest again, did you. After finding out about this.
no subject
[ Ignis can't be faulted for assuming so, right? The first time Noctis heard about it, he'd bolted into the forest, wanting to escape this, anything, everything. He shifts now, despite his anger, finding a profound understanding in Ignis, and maybe... maybe this really is the better choice, sharing something terrible with the person you love. ]
I uh... I came to you. I've been thinking about you trying. And thought... I should try, too. To not be so wrapped up in myself. [ He rubs at his face. ] I mean, he was like your dad, too.
no subject
[He eases himself away, just enough that he can turn around without altogether leaving Noct's hold, and when he's facing Noct properly he gathers him into his arms, guiding him to tuck his head beneath Ignis's chin while he holds him tight.]
I couldn't possibly fault you for doing what you needed to, to assuage your feelings.
[He pauses, silent a moment.]
But I'm glad you came to me, instead of running.
no subject
Noctis lets himself be held, gathered into his arms as he presses his face into his neck, seeking him out instead of running, his own arms wrapped so tightly around him that he fears he might break Ignis if he squeezes any harder. ]
Drautos was Glauca, all along. Dad was -- [ murdered ] -- killed trying to protect Nyx and Luna.
[ It's why they survived. He grimaces, unable to keep a harsh, pained sound from his lips. Is he crying? No, no he can't. Cocooned here with Ignis, this feels... it feels better than the forest. It feels less like he's absolutely alone. ]
I told him he was in Drautos' hands. I said --
no subject
[Still holding him tight, Ignis finds himself suddenly reminded of a time when they were younger, when Noct would sometimes run to him like this after nightmares, and how after the marilith he wasn't able to run anymore but he would still seek out comfort like this if Ignis moved to him to offer it. He rocks back and forth, slow and easy, mostly silent but with the occasional soothing nonsense sound escaping his throat as he tries to console Noct as best he can.]
I know it hurts, darling.
[It hurts him, too. He doesn't try to hide it, or to rationalize the hurt away. Not this time. Not when the both of them have raw wounds reopened by this.]
It wasn't your fault. None of us knew — Clarus, the Marshal. No one suspected, none of us.
no subject
His grip tightens in Ignis' shirt, anger and frustration and grief welling. It should choke him, all of it, and he finally looks up, reminded that he's not the only one grieving, that this was Ignis' home, too. The people he loved, the life he's lived. ]
You must be hurting, too.
[ Noctis is not the only one suffering, he has to keep telling himself that. ]