[Even in a moment like this, the urge to take care of Noct is still as strong and prevalent as ever; it's just that this time, taking care of him isn't about feeding him or protecting him or discouraging his bad habits. This time, taking care of him is as simple as trying to show him some small sliver of comfort in the midst of the awful truths he's laid down in the course of this conversation, and he does it by moving his hand from Noct's face to wrap his arm around his waist, holding him steady and preventing him from fleeing all in the same movement.
He's right to protest. He's right that they shouldn't do this. But the insistence doesn't match the way he grabs hold of Ignis's collar and redoubles his efforts immediately afterward, and for this one instance, Ignis chooses to take his cues from what Noct does, as opposed to what he says.]
I know.
[That's the sole acknowledgement he gives, paying lip service to the notion of being responsible even as he keeps his lips against Noct's, and if there's one modification that he does make to the way that Noct is carrying on, it's that he seeks to slow him down a little, walk his urgency back a bit, as if trying to reassure him that this moment is less fragile than it seems, and neither of them is going anywhere right now.]
[ No, neither of them are going anywhere -- Noctis feels it, the way Ignis' arm slides around his waist to keep him steady, and he swears his knees will buckle when Ignis kisses him back, the shock and pleasure of his mouth on his making his toes curl.
It's irresponsible and probably wrong; there's so much to sort through, not least of which to work out that what Ignis is feeling for him is really love -- that it isn't out of some sort of duty and obligation. Noctis would never dream of imposing himself on Ignis like that, but now he's hooked on him. Who knew that kissing someone would make butterflies erupt in his stomach?
He'd always thought that reports of that in Gladio's trashy romance novels are overhyped junk, but Six if he doesn't feel just that now, coaxed into calmer, less urgently desperate efforts. He parts his mouth for him then, quietly inviting, curious and warm. ]
[He feels Noct's lips part, and knows it's an invitation; that's all the more reason why he's careful not to pull away, even though he knows he needs to pause the kiss long enough to speak. He stays close instead, lets his mouth stay touching Noct's, and murmurs the words against his lips so that there can be no doubt that his aim here isn't born of reluctance or second-guessing.
And in a way, it's almost as though he's read Noct's mind, because it seems their thoughts and concerns are running in very similar directions.]
I need to hear you say you want this. Forget whether we should or shouldn't. Just...I need to have heard it. In your voice.
He should say no because Ignis is his retainer and advisor -- he should say no because he's more than just a friend and brother and this will muddy up the waters even further than it already has, because he's so much more and Noctis is afraid he's going to fuck things up by impulsively giving in to foremost needs.
But he needs him, beyond just being cared for. It's understanding and desire, it's the slow burn of want simmering unseen and consciously unexplored.
And Ignis, Ignis wants precision in all things and Noctis isn't sure he can give him that. He's overwhelmed by the depth of passion, the extent of devotion Ignis has shown, and he bites his own lip, blue eyes fixing on his.
Ignis must be a mess, too, isn't he? It's going to be so unfair if he isn't. ]
Yeah.
[ He says, against just about every rational caution when it comes to doing really stupid shit without thinking. ]
You?
[ Fuck it. He's 20 and the timetable for his demise just moved way the fuck up, even for him. How much worse can things get? ]
[That's rhetorical, honestly, which is mostly because he genuinely hopes Noct isn't altogether aware of how long he's wanted him, because if he is, then that means Ignis hasn't been hiding it nearly as well as he'd thought he was.
He lifts a hand, bringing it carefully up to rest against Noct's face, and traces the high curve of his cheek for a moment before shifting it back to rake through Noct's hair, following the side of his head around to the back in a way that almost resembles petting.]
I could've accepted never speaking a word of it. Just being at your side, seeing you happy...it would've been enough.
[Breathing in slowly, he brings their foreheads to touch.]
But I want to be the one who makes you happy, if you'll let me.
[He wants to be the one who gets to kiss him, too, and right now he is, so he does.]
[ How is Ignis actually more articulate than he is right now? It's grossly, blatantly unfair, especially when all Noctis can really do is follow the shape of his perfect cupid's bow of a mouth, the smooth tenor of his voice like kissing him isn't the top of his really messed up agenda. He's nuzzling against his hand, seeking out comfort, the warmth and presence of him as his heart skips a beat. ]
I don't -- what? Really?
[ Ok, he didn't actually know that. Belatedly, he looks up at him, taken by surprise. Ignis has wanted him all along? Because he's made a damn good show of hiding it, gone unnoticed for so long. ]
Even when I was a terrible to you?
[ Yes, that time, when all Noctis could do was pre-emptively grieve his father as he's dying before his eyes, his life given to the Crystal in exchange for the Wall to protect their people. There was little that's likeable about him then, when Noctis was struggling and angry and sad all the time. Their foreheads touch, and Noctis swallows hard, unable to look away.
Ignis has always wanted him, and Noctis, Noctis has never allowed himself to pursue what he had been feeling deep down inside, buried by obligation and duties and a determination to be an eventual good husband.
And now, Ignis says he wants to make him happy, and Noctis doesn't know what to say to that, choked up with unexpressed emotion. ]
Um. You're -- you don't need to do that. Just... be with me.
Shhh. It's not as though I don't share the blame for that.
[He remembers. Of course he remembers, and there's a difference between understanding and absolution. Noct had been wrong, then, but so had Ignis. They'd had to struggle to make it work, to bridge the chasms between them and come together again.
But right now there's another chasm to bridge, and so he crosses it gently, kissing Noct softly again.]
And you.
[There's a thickness to his voice that suggests that again, though he may be hiding it well, he's not nearly so unaffected as he might seem.]
If I let you go, are you going to run away from me?
[ There it is, the chink in his armor, what Noctis didn't know he had been looking for -- the sign that he's as affected by this as he is, that he wants this moment to last for as long as it can. Things between them have never really been smooth; it had been a lot of recalibration, a lot of understanding in the wake of spats big and small, but nothing worth having has ever been easy.
And oh, how worth it Ignis is, how worth it whatever that's unfurling between them now is, if all of that had led them to here.
Noctis challenges him now, a gleam in his eye as he studies him, unmoving. Ignis' kiss lingers on his lips, warm and tantalising, and he licks his own lips almost unconsciously in a bid for more. ]
[Would that Ignis were king for thirty whole seconds, he would make it illegal for Noctis to ever lick his lips like that ever again, ever, while within fifty feet of him.
ILLEGAL.]
I'm too attached to having you close.
[Too attached to kissing him, too, now that all of a sudden he's able to do it — as though half of him expects that his permission will up and disappear any moment, and so he's got to make the most of it while it lasts.]
Far too great a risk to take -- oh, what a thing to say. Noctis can't help but feel that familiar flutter, and he's reaching up, arms coming to look around his neck as draws close. He's kissing him greedily now, heatedly this time around.
He's too attached to having him close, and Noctis is here, oh, he's here. He senses that Ignis is fearful somehow, as if worried that he'd slip from his fingers. But he's here, and he's not going anywhere, It has to last, it will last -- and he's uttering a soft moan into the kiss, tongue lightly touching against his. ]
[Addendum to the first: this should also be illegal. Noctis Lucis Caelum should be illegal, with his twining arms and his little moans and the brush of the tip of his tongue right at the point where their mouths have come together. His fingers itch to grab hold of him, to grasp him far more firmly than they're currently doing, and he thinks deep down that Noct would allow it if he did, but he holds himself back.
There's irresponsible, and then there's irresponsible. He wants, but still, there are limits. They need to — if not go slow, then at least proceed in a way that isn't reckless.
Noctis makes it so difficult, trying not to be reckless.]
...Then make sure I don't go anywhere, Noct.
[He rakes his fingers through the fluffy duckbutt hair at the back of Noct's head, tugging lightly as if in indication, and lets him feel the way he's smiling as he kisses him again.]
[ There is so much for them to sort out and unpack and figure out -- this thing, whatever it is, is not a done deal; it might not even be a deal, with all its myriad complications and tangles even if the common undercurrent of this thread is longing that's reciprocated but never expressed, a mutual desire long denied.
Ignis is ridiculously gorgeous when he's kissing him right back -- when he's doing anything, really -- and Noctis is lifting his glasses so that he can kiss him properly, holding it loosely in his free hand. It's irresponsible, reckless and passionate, and Noctis nearly melts when Ignis strokes his duckbutt hair and tugs, that charming smile that Noctis feels right to his toes.
Which is perhaps the catalyst for what Noctis does next, overwhelmed with emotion that he practically leaps to the occasion with all the aggression and enthusiasm of one going into battle. ]
You're not going anywhere. [ He tells him firmly, surging forward and inadvertently making Ignis step back as Noctis very fiercely lays on another smooch. Challenge accepted. Then, as it occurs to him: ]
[Well, well. Never let it be said that his Noct doesn't rise to a challenge (whatever Gladio might have said over the years about him being lazy at practice). He's enthusiastic and hungry and it's charming, because it feels as though the tenor of the moment has changed; this doesn't feel like desperation born of a fear of death and an urge to make every moment count. It feels like a friendlier, more boyish sort of competitiveness, seeking to get the better of each other for no other reason than that it's simply fun to do so.
So he lets Noct back him up, focused on giving back as good as he gets, and softly groans his approval.]
[ ARE THEY KISSING OR THUMB WRESTLING WHY IS THIS A COMPETITION but it actually is, because they're boys. also they're stupid. or, well, noctis is stupid.
But Ignis' kiss is warm on his lips and he responded, and this isn't some sort of weird one-off fluke freak adventure thing and Noctis knows he has to sort this out in his head. He has to deal with the inevitability of whatever Ignis had seen, even if he's still a little in denial, even if he doesn't want to face it just yet.
This moment, stolen like all the other moments, belong just to them both. It's unexpected reprieve, a spot of bright light in everything that's bleak and awful. Maybe, just maybe -- things would look a little better. Noctis keeps backing him up, smiling crookedly at Ignis' cheeky response. ]
Back to bed, huh? So you're just gonna leave me here. Hanging.
[He steps backward again, focused in on the mischief gleaming in Noct's eyes.]
That all depends on whether you're going to keep proper hold of me, or if you're going to let me get aw—
[But unfortunately, that sentence is never going to get finished, because as he continues to rather carelessly back up, his heel catches on a snag in the roof, and they're just close enough to the edge that when he stumbles backwards to try to right himself, THERE'S NO MORE ROOF LEFT TO CATCH HIM AND OVER THE FUCK HE GOES.]
With a startled, alarmed yelp, Noctis is warping forward to try to catch him, but Ignis slipped just out of his grasp and he's following after him! Although not quickly enough because guess whose new... maybe boyfriend (who knows) is just falling so gracefully off the roof??? And is probably witnessed by people??? ]
Ignis!
[ And yeah that cry is loud enough to wake Bluohaus probably. ]
[Yeah dudes come on, if y'all are awake, Prompto's definitely awake. He's awake and he's hanging out downstairs and the window's open because it's a nice enough day, and. Uh. What the fuck, broskis?
Prompto sticks his head out the window, camera in his hands, looking up to see Noct, and back down to Ignis.]
...Did Iggy just fall off the roof?
[Snap! says the camera. In case anyone wanted to lie about this moment later.]
[Well, luckily for everyone concerned, it's not like Ignis hasn't taken falls from an equivalent or higher distance before; he's gotten more than enough MAXIMUM AIR from his sky drops with his lance to have at least a passing familiarity with the interplay of parabolic motion and gravity. Granted, it's a lot easier to deal with when he's intentionally doing it as opposed to just slipping and tumbling like a fool off the roof, but you know.
The good news is, he doesn't land badly enough to break anything, though he'll definitely have some scrapes and bruises from the impact. The fact that he winds up flat on the ground and unmoving is mostly due to the fact that he's trying to hold still and take stock of himself to ensure that nothing is grievously injured before he starts moving around.
But yeah, it sure does look like he just ate shit off a roof, that's for certain.]
I think his dignity just went to the big respawn point in the sky.
[Prompto's small enough to wiggle carefully out the window, at least. He hops his landing and trots over to Ignis's motionless form, crouching beside him to make sure he's not actually dead.]
Iggy? Still with us, buddy? How many fingers am I holding up?
[That cry definitely was loud enough to wake Bluohaus. Estelle shoves open one of the winbows, peeking outside with a baffled look on her face.]
'Ignis'? Was that Noctis I heard-- Oh!
[Hello boys, do you fancy some extra audience to this fiasco. No? You're getting it. Estelle has no idea what happened, and so the first words out of her mouth are--]
What the heck happened?
[Hmmmm--]
...Are you guys having a party down here or something?
[He says it slowly, like he's figuring something out, and ends up sitting back on his heels, glancing once again from Ignis, to Noct, to the roof. An idea's starting to take root, and Prompto looks at Noct once more. As he holds his gaze there, slowly--deliberately--taking all his sweet time, he tilts his head, eyebrows rising.
Flying kites. Yeah, he bets they were. But at the same time, he has to know: really? Really, really, guys? Is this happening? Can he be excited??? Oh em gee. O. M. G.
Prompto abruptly switches gears and leans down to try to see Ignis's face, because if he looks half as awksauce as Noct, he's going to flip!]
[Prompto Argentum you are playing with fire (which is always an appropriate figure of speech when referring to Ignis) by teasing the man who is responsible for preparing your food every day.]
I'm afraid this is just what I get for not minding my footing. First rule of...kite-flying.
[Noctis is not allowed to be the source of any lies, ever again, ever. "Kite-flying". Fuck.]
"Pride goes before a fall". In this case, quite literally.
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no subject
He's right to protest. He's right that they shouldn't do this. But the insistence doesn't match the way he grabs hold of Ignis's collar and redoubles his efforts immediately afterward, and for this one instance, Ignis chooses to take his cues from what Noct does, as opposed to what he says.]
I know.
[That's the sole acknowledgement he gives, paying lip service to the notion of being responsible even as he keeps his lips against Noct's, and if there's one modification that he does make to the way that Noct is carrying on, it's that he seeks to slow him down a little, walk his urgency back a bit, as if trying to reassure him that this moment is less fragile than it seems, and neither of them is going anywhere right now.]
no subject
It's irresponsible and probably wrong; there's so much to sort through, not least of which to work out that what Ignis is feeling for him is really love -- that it isn't out of some sort of duty and obligation. Noctis would never dream of imposing himself on Ignis like that, but now he's hooked on him. Who knew that kissing someone would make butterflies erupt in his stomach?
He'd always thought that reports of that in Gladio's trashy romance novels are overhyped junk, but Six if he doesn't feel just that now, coaxed into calmer, less urgently desperate efforts. He parts his mouth for him then, quietly inviting, curious and warm. ]
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[He feels Noct's lips part, and knows it's an invitation; that's all the more reason why he's careful not to pull away, even though he knows he needs to pause the kiss long enough to speak. He stays close instead, lets his mouth stay touching Noct's, and murmurs the words against his lips so that there can be no doubt that his aim here isn't born of reluctance or second-guessing.
And in a way, it's almost as though he's read Noct's mind, because it seems their thoughts and concerns are running in very similar directions.]
I need to hear you say you want this. Forget whether we should or shouldn't. Just...I need to have heard it. In your voice.
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He should say no because Ignis is his retainer and advisor -- he should say no because he's more than just a friend and brother and this will muddy up the waters even further than it already has, because he's so much more and Noctis is afraid he's going to fuck things up by impulsively giving in to foremost needs.
But he needs him, beyond just being cared for. It's understanding and desire, it's the slow burn of want simmering unseen and consciously unexplored.
And Ignis, Ignis wants precision in all things and Noctis isn't sure he can give him that. He's overwhelmed by the depth of passion, the extent of devotion Ignis has shown, and he bites his own lip, blue eyes fixing on his.
Ignis must be a mess, too, isn't he? It's going to be so unfair if he isn't. ]
Yeah.
[ He says, against just about every rational caution when it comes to doing really stupid shit without thinking. ]
You?
[ Fuck it. He's 20 and the timetable for his demise just moved way the fuck up, even for him. How much worse can things get? ]
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[That's rhetorical, honestly, which is mostly because he genuinely hopes Noct isn't altogether aware of how long he's wanted him, because if he is, then that means Ignis hasn't been hiding it nearly as well as he'd thought he was.
He lifts a hand, bringing it carefully up to rest against Noct's face, and traces the high curve of his cheek for a moment before shifting it back to rake through Noct's hair, following the side of his head around to the back in a way that almost resembles petting.]
I could've accepted never speaking a word of it. Just being at your side, seeing you happy...it would've been enough.
[Breathing in slowly, he brings their foreheads to touch.]
But I want to be the one who makes you happy, if you'll let me.
[He wants to be the one who gets to kiss him, too, and right now he is, so he does.]
no subject
I don't -- what? Really?
[ Ok, he didn't actually know that. Belatedly, he looks up at him, taken by surprise. Ignis has wanted him all along? Because he's made a damn good show of hiding it, gone unnoticed for so long. ]
Even when I was a terrible to you?
[ Yes, that time, when all Noctis could do was pre-emptively grieve his father as he's dying before his eyes, his life given to the Crystal in exchange for the Wall to protect their people. There was little that's likeable about him then, when Noctis was struggling and angry and sad all the time. Their foreheads touch, and Noctis swallows hard, unable to look away.
Ignis has always wanted him, and Noctis, Noctis has never allowed himself to pursue what he had been feeling deep down inside, buried by obligation and duties and a determination to be an eventual good husband.
And now, Ignis says he wants to make him happy, and Noctis doesn't know what to say to that, choked up with unexpressed emotion. ]
Um. You're -- you don't need to do that. Just... be with me.
no subject
[He remembers. Of course he remembers, and there's a difference between understanding and absolution. Noct had been wrong, then, but so had Ignis. They'd had to struggle to make it work, to bridge the chasms between them and come together again.
But right now there's another chasm to bridge, and so he crosses it gently, kissing Noct softly again.]
And you.
[There's a thickness to his voice that suggests that again, though he may be hiding it well, he's not nearly so unaffected as he might seem.]
If I let you go, are you going to run away from me?
no subject
And oh, how worth it Ignis is, how worth it whatever that's unfurling between them now is, if all of that had led them to here.
Noctis challenges him now, a gleam in his eye as he studies him, unmoving. Ignis' kiss lingers on his lips, warm and tantalising, and he licks his own lips almost unconsciously in a bid for more. ]
Find out for yourself.
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[Would that Ignis were king for thirty whole seconds, he would make it illegal for Noctis to ever lick his lips like that ever again, ever, while within fifty feet of him.
ILLEGAL.]
I'm too attached to having you close.
[Too attached to kissing him, too, now that all of a sudden he's able to do it — as though half of him expects that his permission will up and disappear any moment, and so he's got to make the most of it while it lasts.]
no subject
Far too great a risk to take -- oh, what a thing to say. Noctis can't help but feel that familiar flutter, and he's reaching up, arms coming to look around his neck as draws close. He's kissing him greedily now, heatedly this time around.
He's too attached to having him close, and Noctis is here, oh, he's here. He senses that Ignis is fearful somehow, as if worried that he'd slip from his fingers. But he's here, and he's not going anywhere, It has to last, it will last -- and he's uttering a soft moan into the kiss, tongue lightly touching against his. ]
I think -- me, too...
no subject
There's irresponsible, and then there's irresponsible. He wants, but still, there are limits. They need to — if not go slow, then at least proceed in a way that isn't reckless.
Noctis makes it so difficult, trying not to be reckless.]
...Then make sure I don't go anywhere, Noct.
[He rakes his fingers through the fluffy duckbutt hair at the back of Noct's head, tugging lightly as if in indication, and lets him feel the way he's smiling as he kisses him again.]
no subject
Ignis is ridiculously gorgeous when he's kissing him right back -- when he's doing anything, really -- and Noctis is lifting his glasses so that he can kiss him properly, holding it loosely in his free hand. It's irresponsible, reckless and passionate, and Noctis nearly melts when Ignis strokes his duckbutt hair and tugs, that charming smile that Noctis feels right to his toes.
Which is perhaps the catalyst for what Noctis does next, overwhelmed with emotion that he practically leaps to the occasion with all the aggression and enthusiasm of one going into battle. ]
You're not going anywhere. [ He tells him firmly, surging forward and inadvertently making Ignis step back as Noctis very fiercely lays on another smooch. Challenge accepted. Then, as it occurs to him: ]
Where you gonna go if I did...?
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So he lets Noct back him up, focused on giving back as good as he gets, and softly groans his approval.]
Back to bed, perhaps.
[He says, just to be cheeky about it.]
It is awfully late.
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But Ignis' kiss is warm on his lips and he responded, and this isn't some sort of weird one-off fluke freak adventure thing and Noctis knows he has to sort this out in his head. He has to deal with the inevitability of whatever Ignis had seen, even if he's still a little in denial, even if he doesn't want to face it just yet.
This moment, stolen like all the other moments, belong just to them both. It's unexpected reprieve, a spot of bright light in everything that's bleak and awful. Maybe, just maybe -- things would look a little better. Noctis keeps backing him up, smiling crookedly at Ignis' cheeky response. ]
Back to bed, huh? So you're just gonna leave me here. Hanging.
no subject
[He steps backward again, focused in on the mischief gleaming in Noct's eyes.]
That all depends on whether you're going to keep proper hold of me, or if you're going to let me get aw—
[But unfortunately, that sentence is never going to get finished, because as he continues to rather carelessly back up, his heel catches on a snag in the roof, and they're just close enough to the edge that when he stumbles backwards to try to right himself, THERE'S NO MORE ROOF LEFT TO CATCH HIM AND OVER THE FUCK HE GOES.]
no subject
With a startled, alarmed yelp, Noctis is warping forward to try to catch him, but Ignis slipped just out of his grasp and he's following after him! Although not quickly enough because guess whose new... maybe boyfriend (who knows) is just falling so gracefully off the roof??? And is probably witnessed by people??? ]
Ignis!
[ And yeah that cry is loud enough to wake Bluohaus probably. ]
no subject
Prompto sticks his head out the window, camera in his hands, looking up to see Noct, and back down to Ignis.]
...Did Iggy just fall off the roof?
[Snap! says the camera. In case anyone wanted to lie about this moment later.]
no subject
The good news is, he doesn't land badly enough to break anything, though he'll definitely have some scrapes and bruises from the impact. The fact that he winds up flat on the ground and unmoving is mostly due to the fact that he's trying to hold still and take stock of himself to ensure that nothing is grievously injured before he starts moving around.
But yeah, it sure does look like he just ate shit off a roof, that's for certain.]
no subject
Uh... We were -- flying kites?
[ No one put Noctis in charge of doing spy things, because the man does not think well on his feet. There's no kite. Also, not a lot of wind. Um. ]
Is Iggy okay?
no subject
[Prompto's small enough to wiggle carefully out the window, at least. He hops his landing and trots over to Ignis's motionless form, crouching beside him to make sure he's not actually dead.]
Iggy? Still with us, buddy? How many fingers am I holding up?
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[That's a little bit muffled on account of he's still, like. Facedown on the ground.]
Perhaps we should see about putting up a guardrail...
no subject
'Ignis'? Was that Noctis I heard-- Oh!
[Hello boys, do you fancy some extra audience to this fiasco. No? You're getting it. Estelle has no idea what happened, and so the first words out of her mouth are--]
What the heck happened?
[Hmmmm--]
...Are you guys having a party down here or something?
no subject
He spots Estelle, too, and he swears the flush on his cheeks is never going to go away. ]
No, um. It was an accident?
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[He says it slowly, like he's figuring something out, and ends up sitting back on his heels, glancing once again from Ignis, to Noct, to the roof. An idea's starting to take root, and Prompto looks at Noct once more. As he holds his gaze there, slowly--deliberately--taking all his sweet time, he tilts his head, eyebrows rising.
Flying kites. Yeah, he bets they were. But at the same time, he has to know: really? Really, really, guys? Is this happening? Can he be excited??? Oh em gee. O. M. G.
Prompto abruptly switches gears and leans down to try to see Ignis's face, because if he looks half as awksauce as Noct, he's going to flip!]
Fell pretty hard, huh, Iggy?
[hee hee hee hee hee hee.]
no subject
I'm afraid this is just what I get for not minding my footing. First rule of...kite-flying.
[Noctis is not allowed to be the source of any lies, ever again, ever. "Kite-flying". Fuck.]
"Pride goes before a fall". In this case, quite literally.
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