[He holds Ignis's arm with both hands, staring up at him with his eyes sparkling with hilarity.]
Are madly in love. For our whole lives! [Gasping dramatically, he leans against the counter, one hand drawn back to his heart.] Why didn't you tell me, my dear sir!
[Did you know it's possible to choke on air? IGNIS DIDN'T. And yet there he goes, making the world's most undignified sound as something goes haywire in the back of his throat, hands still covered in flour and dough and he only just barely remembers to turn in a direction that isn't the pizza he's spent all this time preparing so he doesn't end up hacking all over it.]
[That does it, setting Prompto off almost as hard as when Shiro said it in the first place--great, heaving gasps and cackles of laughter. He's gonna die. OF FUN.]
Right?! I don't know! You must not've referred to Noct by name, 'cause he knew about you taking care of him as kids but somehow thought that was about me?
[He has enough presence of mind to thump Ignis's back just in case he does actually choke to death on nothing, even though he can't stop his own snorting guffaws.]
Where would I have even met someone like you at age, what, four? Eating mulch under the slide at daycare? Snrt, yeah, as if!
Where on earth would — was this Shiro, then? — would he have gotten the idea that —
[Lord, now he has to actually think back and try to remember what they were talking about, and how he possibly could have given out that impression.]
...Oh. We were talking about. Hm.
[HMMM.]
The conversation went from relationships to my not having time for them, because of my duties. In the course of that, I mentioned that you have a habit of pointing out that I had something of an atypical childhood. I suppose he must've assumed a link between the topics that way.
He seemed kind of stuck on the fact that you suggested you'd stone cold kill a dude for me, but I told him, like, that's just how you friendship. Right?
[With an honestly hilarious attempt at batting his lashes, Prompto laces his fingers together under his chin and winks, then laughs to himself again and leans back on the counter.]
Do I really rib you that much about your childhood, though? Sorry. I mean, I'm not exactly one to, uh, to talk, I guess.
It's less ribbing and more just adding perspective. There are things about my childhood that I simply take for granted because I've never known anything different; the same goes for Gladio and Noct, so it's not as though either of them could point out oddities from their perspectives, either.
[He turns back to his dough, examining it as he tries to decide whether it's ready to be punched down and rolled out again.]
You, on the other hand, have a vastly different perspective. One that adds clarity that I'm not really able to get from any other source.
...Oh, 'cause I'm not, like--yeah, I see what you mean.
[What do those three have in common that he doesn't? Right, the Citadel. The royal purpose, the royal pressure. Prompto considers that, drumming his fingers against the cabinets, then snorts.]
Well, what does that have to do with being your boyfriend? Unless you don't talk about your childhood with people you're not going to smoochtown with.
[He smiles a little, sort of soft, sort of sly.]
I noticed you're talking to Shiiirooo about your personal life. Have you been married to him since you were three, too?
As I said, I think he may have made an intuitive leap that was regrettably not with roots in a foundation of reality.
[His eyes narrow just a hint, not angry but just calculating, watching that expression cross Prompto's face.]
Beg pardon, were you under the impression I only discuss my personal life with people I'm in a romantic relationship with? If that's the case, Shiro may have been correct after all, as I seem to recall discussing a fair amount with you, yourself.
Snrkhg, no! [He leans over to poke Ignis briefly with his elbow.] You know I'm just teasing! Man, guess we hot twenty-somethings can't hardly make eye contact with our beautiful buddies without getting cast into imaginary foursomes around here, huh?
[Settling again, almost-but-not-quite sitting on the counter, Prompto smiles with more warmth than overbrightness.]
I'm really just happy you made a friend.
[A friend Ignis can talk to, a friend outside their tight little band. A friend free of all the baggage Lucis laid on their shoulders, with whom Ignis can just be Ignis and say whatever he wants, no matter what hilarious misunderstandings arise.]
...A big, beefy friend! [And Prompto's back to ribbing.] How many of us do you think he can bench-press at once, all three or just me and Noct?
[He can hear the genuine warmth in Prompto's tone at that admission, I'm really just happy you made a friend. It's not that Prompto's enthusiasm is any less genuine on other occasions, but this is something rare and special — the kind of delight that manages to be selfish even in its generosity, that seeks to lift both their spirits equally without being targeted specifically toward that end.]
His favorite food is noodles. I told him he's one tattoo away from bearing a striking resemblance to a friend of ours.
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Iggy, guess what! You'll never guess, I'll just tell you. Guess what I heard from your new space bud!
[So much for 'you'll never guess.']
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[He says, giving a last few punches to the pizza dough he's been working up, before shaping it into a neat ball and setting it aside to rest.]
Please, by all means, do tell.
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[He holds Ignis's arm with both hands, staring up at him with his eyes sparkling with hilarity.]
Are madly in love. For our whole lives! [Gasping dramatically, he leans against the counter, one hand drawn back to his heart.] Why didn't you tell me, my dear sir!
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Titan's balls — !
[Ack. Gack. Hghgkagk.]
Who — precisely — hgk — what?!
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Right?! I don't know! You must not've referred to Noct by name, 'cause he knew about you taking care of him as kids but somehow thought that was about me?
[He has enough presence of mind to thump Ignis's back just in case he does actually choke to death on nothing, even though he can't stop his own snorting guffaws.]
Where would I have even met someone like you at age, what, four? Eating mulch under the slide at daycare? Snrt, yeah, as if!
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[Lord, now he has to actually think back and try to remember what they were talking about, and how he possibly could have given out that impression.]
...Oh. We were talking about. Hm.
[HMMM.]
The conversation went from relationships to my not having time for them, because of my duties. In the course of that, I mentioned that you have a habit of pointing out that I had something of an atypical childhood. I suppose he must've assumed a link between the topics that way.
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[He holds a finger up.]
He seemed kind of stuck on the fact that you suggested you'd stone cold kill a dude for me, but I told him, like, that's just how you friendship. Right?
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[He shrugs slightly, composing himself enough to cast a knowing look in Prompto's direction.]
I would stone cold kill several "dudes" for you, of course.
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[With an honestly hilarious attempt at batting his lashes, Prompto laces his fingers together under his chin and winks, then laughs to himself again and leans back on the counter.]
Do I really rib you that much about your childhood, though? Sorry. I mean, I'm not exactly one to, uh, to talk, I guess.
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[He turns back to his dough, examining it as he tries to decide whether it's ready to be punched down and rolled out again.]
You, on the other hand, have a vastly different perspective. One that adds clarity that I'm not really able to get from any other source.
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[What do those three have in common that he doesn't? Right, the Citadel. The royal purpose, the royal pressure. Prompto considers that, drumming his fingers against the cabinets, then snorts.]
Well, what does that have to do with being your boyfriend? Unless you don't talk about your childhood with people you're not going to smoochtown with.
[He smiles a little, sort of soft, sort of sly.]
I noticed you're talking to Shiiirooo about your personal life. Have you been married to him since you were three, too?
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[His eyes narrow just a hint, not angry but just calculating, watching that expression cross Prompto's face.]
Beg pardon, were you under the impression I only discuss my personal life with people I'm in a romantic relationship with? If that's the case, Shiro may have been correct after all, as I seem to recall discussing a fair amount with you, yourself.
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[Settling again, almost-but-not-quite sitting on the counter, Prompto smiles with more warmth than overbrightness.]
I'm really just happy you made a friend.
[A friend Ignis can talk to, a friend outside their tight little band. A friend free of all the baggage Lucis laid on their shoulders, with whom Ignis can just be Ignis and say whatever he wants, no matter what hilarious misunderstandings arise.]
...A big, beefy friend! [And Prompto's back to ribbing.] How many of us do you think he can bench-press at once, all three or just me and Noct?
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[He can hear the genuine warmth in Prompto's tone at that admission, I'm really just happy you made a friend. It's not that Prompto's enthusiasm is any less genuine on other occasions, but this is something rare and special — the kind of delight that manages to be selfish even in its generosity, that seeks to lift both their spirits equally without being targeted specifically toward that end.]
His favorite food is noodles. I told him he's one tattoo away from bearing a striking resemblance to a friend of ours.
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[And what a lovely realization that is. Boy, Prompto misses their missing Casanova. Loyally, however, he adds:]
I think Gladio would win in a beef-off, though. Like, strictly objectively! Our big guy is bigger.