[He doesn't bother to hide the way his eyebrows go up, mildly surprised at the angle Shiro takes in his inquiry. He'd read the forum post, of course — it's public knowledge, and even if he's not quite ready to show his hand to Ardyn just yet, that doesn't mean he's stupid enough not to keep tabs on the acquaintances the man is cultivating — but Shiro's responses had given the impression of tacit acceptance, albeit warily so.
The fact that he immediately, and unquestioningly, makes it clear that he believes Prompto is — well. As far as Ignis is concerned, it's a surprise, and a positive one at that. Certainly a credit to Shiro's integrity, regardless of what might have taken place on the forums.]
He's upset, and understandably so. He has a great deal to be upset about; he's not exaggerating about the accusations he made. But moreso than that, I think he's...afraid. For the people he cares about, because Ardyn Izunia is a man who will not hesitate to target someone's loved ones as a means of causing them harm.
[He's quiet, just for a few moments. When he speaks again, his voice is just as level as it was before, but there's steel in it.]
He won't be allowed to harm Prompto again, of course.
[ That look is very familiar from his own mirror a hundred times before, met with an understanding nod. ]
Of course. Keith also knows to avoid Ardyn.
[ Big and loud and white-haired, Shiro can wield a commanding presence when needs be. On the forums, he prefers to let people discuss their own side of things without being led by encouragement, mollified instead of consoled. It leaves him at a mundane truce with Ardyn, far more preferable to anything the man is capable of (whether by Prompto's or Ignis's account) if Shiro had took a stand and made a target of himself and Keith. Anyone who can launch a metaphorical shrug at the notion of cloning people isn't somebody Shiro will ever take a liking to, too closely reminiscent of Haggar's detachment from empathy. ]
So all his explanations, his excuses: Ardyn was lying? He said very little by saying a lot. The man's got an eloquent tongue in his mouth.
What I note he was careful to omit is that he wasn't simply an average officer or scientist, caught up in the midst of the war he described. He's the Chancellor of Niflheim — so highly placed that he's second perhaps only to the emperor himself. Ardyn didn't simply participate in the war; he's the driving force perpetuating it.
[Which seems to be classic Ardyn, really. Speaking a lot, saying very little. Spinning words that are never quite false yet never wholly true. Hiding in plain sight, by letting other people's perceptions do the work for him.
He can still hear Ravus's voice snarling at Gladio's face — Gladio, who wasn't Gladio, because he was just an illusion.]
And the two nations in question are hardly "equally culpable". Niflheim has been seeking to conquer its surrounding nations for centuries. They annexed the province of Tenebrae, murdered its queen, and took her two children as political captives — hostages. The prince was sixteen; the princess only twelve. Later they came for Lucis on the pretense of an end to the war — asking for the kingdom's peaceful surrender. It was a ruse; they used the signing ceremony of that treaty to attack the capitol and burn it to the ground. That was the city where I grew up. Where our families —
[He stops short, closing his eyes for a minute as his voice cracks and falters — an unusual aberration, when he's been keeping his tone so carefully controlled up until now.]
Our families are dead. All of them. And a man I saw as a second father knew it was coming. Knew the likelihood of Niflheim's treachery. He sent me away, on the eve of the ceremony, so that I would survive while he perished. Casualties of the little war Ardyn Izunia happened to have participated in, doing things that may not be considered good — to some.
[ Ardyn really is an affluent liar. Shiro would be impressed if he weren't revolted, gaze softening around the edges as he notes the tension cutting hesitation through his guest's words. ]
I'm sorry, Ignis.
[ For his losses and grieving heart, and dredging them up with this talk. Shiro faces the problem as logically as he can, head-on looking for a solution to their immediate concerns as he takes on board everything he is told. The thing is, had Ardyn accepted a little more responsibility and not tried so hard to denounce the slander he might have accrued slightly more credibility. ]
So we have a man among us who is by all accounts a danger, but this isn't Lucis or Nifleheim. It's a sleepy little grey town. What do you think his strategy will be? Other than pleading a bystander's innocence.
Assuredly a danger, yes, but perhaps not to the whole of the town. As a matter of fact, the lot of you may well find him quite the philanthropist. He has no motive to act against any of you, save for if you would make useful pawns in an attempt to further one of his greater goals.
[He removes his glasses for a minute, pinching the bridge of his nose to hide the way he's actually making sure his eyes aren't wet, and to disguise how he has to school his expression back into calm.]
He's already begun taking steps to discredit those of us who are familiar with him, and thus know what he's capable of. Robbing us of our credibility deprives us of possible allies against him if he does choose to act, as well as cultivating for himself the goodwill necessary to cast doubt on the things he may do to us singularly. Tormenting Prompto, for example; after that outburst, compared with Ardyn's seemingly more reasonable explanation, why wouldn't anyone simply assume a cry for help from Prompto was simply another so-called overreaction?
[He shrugs slightly.]
I suspect that to begin with, he'll merely toy with us. Seek to tempt us into showing him the cards we're holding, as it were, by way of provocation we can't refuse. I'm likely the one of us here best suited to resisting his attempts, but — I know for a fact that he's aware of the one thing that could incite even me to act against my own best interests. It's a disadvantage I don't relish being at, but it is what it is.
[ As Ignis rubs his eyes with a subtlety Shiro lets him presume, he looks back to the stove. The one thing that could incite even me to act against my own best interests. Shiro doesn't need to guess, not with how protective Ignis is of his friends. ]
Prompto has an earnest authenticity that I think most people would believe in, I certainly did. It's when Ardyn grows bored of tormenting kids, as you say, that I worry.
[ He rests his chin in a flesh hand, sloe-eyes lowered on the stove shifting to Ignis. ]
I wish I hadn't told him about my arm being a power source. It was stupid of me.
I did see that he discussed magitek with you. If you meet him in person, he may remark on your resemblance to someone we both know, who also had a prosthetic arm similar to yours. His features were somewhat more severe than yours, but the white hair and powered prosthetic arm will be enough to suffice, I suspect.
[He sits back in his chair a little, shaking his head.]
I doubt it poses any great threat, however, that he knows it. Abhorrent a field of study as it is, objectively speaking magitek is startlingly versatile. The Empire has used it to create armies of robotic soldiers, to power airships, to fuel mobile suits. It's part of what makes them so effective; they don't need to maintain a living, breathing army. They simply use MTs.
[ It's quintessence, Shiro wants to say, stoically silent as Ignis goes on uninterrupted. The mention of quintessence is something he would rather avoid altogether, not wanting to jinx them all or give anyone ideas about searching for the stuff. The best of intentions, etc. Even as reluctant to share as he is, he still trusts Ignis more than anyone else (besides Keith) in the town and shifts the subject as if blithely absorbing new information. ]
He's not going to suddenly fall in love with me because of the resemblance, is he?
Actually, last I saw of it, the person in question was siding with me over him, and Ardyn attacked him for it — so no, I doubt he'll find it a favorable comparison.
[But it manages to coax a hint of a smile from the corner of Ignis's mouth anyway, less from the talk of Ravus and more just from the fact that he can see where this is headed.]
For what it's worth, it wasn't a particular hardship to bear the brunt of your attentions. I found it rather flattering, really.
[ Shiro's sigh is fuelled by the heat creeping up the back of his neck and ears. ]
I know I was under the influence of ... something, and you're a good man so you don't expect an apology, but I wanted to offer one anyway. I'm sorry about the way I behaved, it was inappropriate. [ Shiro wouldn't need an apology from someone in his situation either, and yet. ] I appreciate everything that you and Keith did to keep me stable and safe.
Oh, we're in complete agreement that it was utterly inappropriate. That said, there are worse ways to spend an afternoon.
[His smile widens, just a little.]
But it's fine, believe me. And as apologies go, I likely owe your friend Keith one, myself. I don't think he appreciated the rather, ah...possessive stance I took toward you, when he first turned up looking for you.
[ Why can't black holes randomly appear and suck out a man's soul so he can't feel like a pervert for hounding another man for his hot bod. Why not. ]
Keith has saved me from some sticky situations in the past, he doesn't like it when his friends are out of reach. It's one of his best qualities. [ A hand waves dismissively. ] He doesn't hold a grudge. In fact, I think you scored brownie points with him for taking in Captain Hot-Mess the way you did.
[ The mirth softens his smile, grey eyes warm on Ignis. ]
You were good to me, I won't forget that. Neither of us will.
Then I daresay Keith and I have rather a lot in common, in that respect. I wouldn't have let a stranger stop me, if I'd been the one in his position.
[A quiet beat.]
I wouldn't have let walls stop me if I'd been the one in his position, frankly.
[Ignis Scientia, liberator of an entire Imperial-occupied city, mostly as a side effect of trying to get to his king.]
I hope the self-deprecation is to make you feel more at ease, and not to try to bait me into flattering you. I'll flatter you entirely of my own accord, thank you very much.
[ See, he had a perfectly good reply and then Ignis had to go and fluster him all over again. ]
Bait —? No! I would never, I wouldn't — that's not how I meant to come off.
[ Sheesh. Can he live behind his facepalm, at least? Oh god, does Ignis fancy him? Is this real life? The last time a man wanted to flatter him it was literal years ago, he's out of practice. ]
If it makes you feel better, prior to my current relationship I'd not been the subject of anyone's romantic interest...well, ever, really. I've never had much of a personal life to begin with; my work always took first precedence.
[ The flat look Shiro gives him says he could have said those exact words about work meaning more than romantic relationships and meant every one. It's not in his nature to share personal details at the drop of a hat but Ignis was unfortunately yeeted into the deep end, so it can't be all that weird to get the guy's history laid out on a platter in return. It could be a friendly gesture to make Shiro feel more at ease. ]
Adam was my first real partner. [ The details aren't owed, he knows, but it feels better to be on the level with Ignis (who is with Prompto, Shiro assumes from his earlier protectiveness), and Shiro is comfortable enough with the fire crackling away in his own house to divulge a bit more, this time on his terms and not that of a fever. ] We broke up under unfriendly circumstances, then I left Earth on a mission. When I came back he was dead, we never got to ... to reconcile our differences.
Oh, I never fish. That happens to be my boyfriend's talent, not mine.
[Unless it's fishing for details, which he knows is what Shiro meant, which is entirely not the point. The point is, Shiro's right; this is about trying to garner information, because that's simply what Ignis does and it's not really a habit that he can just up and turn off. Knowledge is power, and anything new he learns is useful, and anything he can coax out of a new potential ally is significant.
...And yet. Normally, he wouldn't be this open about his own experiences in return, would he? There are better tactics for extracting information, so why this one?
It dawns on him, slowly, that this may be the first time in a year that he's actually just sat and...talked with someone that he didn't on some level feel maternally responsible for. No one's really managed to occupy a space like this since —
...
Gladio. It's like talking to Gladio. Except that even here, he can be more honest, because Shiro isn't like Gladio, isn't tied up in duty to Noctis like they both are, isn't a part of the things that Ignis sometimes needs to find release from.]
I...had suspected as much, from your reaction. You have my condolences.
[He debates asking about the mission, which seems to have been the source of the divide, but then decides against going after it directly. It's clearly a sore spot, and Shiro seems to have enough of those already.]
Back home, I...never focused much on "missed opportunities". I chose the course of my life at a young age, and I accepted that wholeheartedly. I understood, or so I told myself, that it would come with sacrifices.
[He shrugs a little.]
I don't regret any of it. But occasionally Prompto will point out some staple of childhood that I never participated in, because of my choices, and I'll come to realize that my own was quite the atypical childhood, what little of one I had to begin with.
You knew what you wanted and you went for it. If I'd known you when I was little, I might have looked up to you a lot.
[ It doesn't come as any surprise that Ignis, seemingly responsible to a fault, had a solemn youth spent doggedly following one ideal. He isn't a bad person for it, it just makes more sense when putting his loyalty to Prompto in perspective from a new angle.
Shiro bites his lip, attention sliding to the pop of the caged fire. ]
Keith ... He knew me when I was ill, before things changed for me back home. [ Details he won't delve into just yet. There is mild wonder in his voice when he talks about his best friend, softened in tone. ] He saw me when I was in pain because of a disease I was born with, that's why I'm so grateful to you for taking both of us in like you did. I used to hide the worst of it from him. You didn't know it, but you were saving him from shouldering a responsibility that was pretty scary for him: me, just ... being sick again, for whatever reason. I never wanted him to have to deal with me like that.
[Which is a subtle difference, but one that he's come to learn is infinitely significant, a revelation he's had only so very recently. He's never doubted that this tenure in service to the crown, serving Noct, is what he wants. It is, and that will never change. And when he was six years old, and the question was do you want this, the answer had been "yes" then, too.
But sometimes he wonders if it was the only thing he would've wanted, over the years. There's a difference between "The thing I want" and "The only thing I want", after all. He can say with absolute certainty that this is the life that he wanted, and he wouldn't take it back.
But sometimes he wonders what it must feel like to not know precisely what one wants to do with the rest of their life. To examine a field of options and try them all. Maybe there would've been something different he wanted, too. Opening his own restaurant, like Coctura and Weskham had each done. Teaching, maybe. A doctor; he could've been a doctor, perhaps.
He could've wanted a lot of things, maybe. But in his life he's only ever wanted the one.]
I can't help but observe that you're speaking of the disease in past tense. Can I...presume that a treatment was discovered, then?
[ Shiro always knew what he wanted from the moment he first saw the stars; to touch them, then to fly with them, and that was what gave him the impetus to ignore the limits of each diagnoses. Pushing himself further, working for the fittest body he could purely so it would take him to space as many times as possible before his broken biology gave up and betrayed his heart.
At some point, he started wanting to give those same stars to Keith. They didn't mean anything without him. ]
It was a degenerative disease, nothing contagious. [ The deja-vu of needing to make that point when someone used to find out, setting them at peace of mind even before they felt the need to ask, is easier than he remembers it being. No one Ignis loves would have caught anything. ] Nerve damage, rapid onset muscular atrophy that would have killed me by thirty or so. Keith saw it beginning to take hold, occasionally.
[ Swallowing, he finds his appetite for the casserole has vanished, leaving a heavy weight in his stomach. ]
There was no cure, but I'm fine now. That's cryptic, sorry.
At the risk of sounding...patronizing. I understand the feeling of knowing that something debilitating awaits you in your future, and being forced to decide whether to simply accept it, or to struggle against what may well prove to be inevitable.
[Iggy, your eyes!, Prompto had said, so surprised when they'd first met up with each other. What happened? You can see! — as though there'd been the expectation that, for some reason, he couldn't.]
I realize we've only just met, and that this is truly none of my business. However, given that you likely do owe me some debt of gratitude for taking you in when you arrived here in the condition you were in, I'm going to forego propriety and simply ask bluntly.
[He glances up, fixing Shiro with a steady look.]
"I'm fine" is what people say to set others at ease, not to describe their own condition. So tell me plainly. Is this something that's going to afflict you again?
[ You're all clear, the doctors had said upon his return to Earth. He had known it but never believed it since Haggar experimented on him so he could carry the Galran arm, fixing his body so it could carry her work. Be worthy of it, Champion. Turned out all his clones were given a fresh breath of life minus his disease ... or they would have, if all but one out of the hundreds hadn't burned up in a planet's atmosphere. Now there is just him and his body (it can't be theirs when both minds are melded into one, he reasons to stay sane) and so much time in which to live he can't wrap his head around it. Sometimes when he gets a phantom cramp, he stupidly panics and habit makes him touch his prosthetic wrist for the muscle relaxant bracelet. ]
It can't come back.
[ This isn't the body that bore it. Sitting quietly with Ignis, there's a kind of peace, a weak smile making Shiro reach out a boot to nudge Ignis's shoe. ]
I'm okay, Ignis, I promise. Now you're really starting to sound like Adam.
[ So worried, concern burrowed deep in the marrow of his bones so that eventually, by the time they grew apart and he made Shiro choose between him or his own dreams, Shiro couldn't see anything in those hazel eyes except for a reminder about his condition. ]
What I sound like is someone who's spent more than enough time around well-meaning young men with a penchant for self-martyrdom to have learned their tricks and proclivities. I'm well-versed at spotting them; I see one every morning in the mirror.
[His smile here is wry, but it's there. A boot bumps against his shoe, and after a second he bumps it right back.]
I appreciate the clarification, however. It's good to know it's no longer a concern.
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no subject
The fact that he immediately, and unquestioningly, makes it clear that he believes Prompto is — well. As far as Ignis is concerned, it's a surprise, and a positive one at that. Certainly a credit to Shiro's integrity, regardless of what might have taken place on the forums.]
He's upset, and understandably so. He has a great deal to be upset about; he's not exaggerating about the accusations he made. But moreso than that, I think he's...afraid. For the people he cares about, because Ardyn Izunia is a man who will not hesitate to target someone's loved ones as a means of causing them harm.
[He's quiet, just for a few moments. When he speaks again, his voice is just as level as it was before, but there's steel in it.]
He won't be allowed to harm Prompto again, of course.
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Of course. Keith also knows to avoid Ardyn.
[ Big and loud and white-haired, Shiro can wield a commanding presence when needs be. On the forums, he prefers to let people discuss their own side of things without being led by encouragement, mollified instead of consoled. It leaves him at a mundane truce with Ardyn, far more preferable to anything the man is capable of (whether by Prompto's or Ignis's account) if Shiro had took a stand and made a target of himself and Keith. Anyone who can launch a metaphorical shrug at the notion of cloning people isn't somebody Shiro will ever take a liking to, too closely reminiscent of Haggar's detachment from empathy. ]
So all his explanations, his excuses: Ardyn was lying? He said very little by saying a lot. The man's got an eloquent tongue in his mouth.
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[Which seems to be classic Ardyn, really. Speaking a lot, saying very little. Spinning words that are never quite false yet never wholly true. Hiding in plain sight, by letting other people's perceptions do the work for him.
He can still hear Ravus's voice snarling at Gladio's face — Gladio, who wasn't Gladio, because he was just an illusion.]
And the two nations in question are hardly "equally culpable". Niflheim has been seeking to conquer its surrounding nations for centuries. They annexed the province of Tenebrae, murdered its queen, and took her two children as political captives — hostages. The prince was sixteen; the princess only twelve. Later they came for Lucis on the pretense of an end to the war — asking for the kingdom's peaceful surrender. It was a ruse; they used the signing ceremony of that treaty to attack the capitol and burn it to the ground. That was the city where I grew up. Where our families —
[He stops short, closing his eyes for a minute as his voice cracks and falters — an unusual aberration, when he's been keeping his tone so carefully controlled up until now.]
Our families are dead. All of them. And a man I saw as a second father knew it was coming. Knew the likelihood of Niflheim's treachery. He sent me away, on the eve of the ceremony, so that I would survive while he perished. Casualties of the little war Ardyn Izunia happened to have participated in, doing things that may not be considered good — to some.
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I'm sorry, Ignis.
[ For his losses and grieving heart, and dredging them up with this talk. Shiro faces the problem as logically as he can, head-on looking for a solution to their immediate concerns as he takes on board everything he is told. The thing is, had Ardyn accepted a little more responsibility and not tried so hard to denounce the slander he might have accrued slightly more credibility. ]
So we have a man among us who is by all accounts a danger, but this isn't Lucis or Nifleheim. It's a sleepy little grey town. What do you think his strategy will be? Other than pleading a bystander's innocence.
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[He removes his glasses for a minute, pinching the bridge of his nose to hide the way he's actually making sure his eyes aren't wet, and to disguise how he has to school his expression back into calm.]
He's already begun taking steps to discredit those of us who are familiar with him, and thus know what he's capable of. Robbing us of our credibility deprives us of possible allies against him if he does choose to act, as well as cultivating for himself the goodwill necessary to cast doubt on the things he may do to us singularly. Tormenting Prompto, for example; after that outburst, compared with Ardyn's seemingly more reasonable explanation, why wouldn't anyone simply assume a cry for help from Prompto was simply another so-called overreaction?
[He shrugs slightly.]
I suspect that to begin with, he'll merely toy with us. Seek to tempt us into showing him the cards we're holding, as it were, by way of provocation we can't refuse. I'm likely the one of us here best suited to resisting his attempts, but — I know for a fact that he's aware of the one thing that could incite even me to act against my own best interests. It's a disadvantage I don't relish being at, but it is what it is.
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Prompto has an earnest authenticity that I think most people would believe in, I certainly did. It's when Ardyn grows bored of tormenting kids, as you say, that I worry.
[ He rests his chin in a flesh hand, sloe-eyes lowered on the stove shifting to Ignis. ]
I wish I hadn't told him about my arm being a power source. It was stupid of me.
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[He sits back in his chair a little, shaking his head.]
I doubt it poses any great threat, however, that he knows it. Abhorrent a field of study as it is, objectively speaking magitek is startlingly versatile. The Empire has used it to create armies of robotic soldiers, to power airships, to fuel mobile suits. It's part of what makes them so effective; they don't need to maintain a living, breathing army. They simply use MTs.
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He's not going to suddenly fall in love with me because of the resemblance, is he?
[ The wryest self-deprecating smile. ]
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[But it manages to coax a hint of a smile from the corner of Ignis's mouth anyway, less from the talk of Ravus and more just from the fact that he can see where this is headed.]
For what it's worth, it wasn't a particular hardship to bear the brunt of your attentions. I found it rather flattering, really.
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I know I was under the influence of ... something, and you're a good man so you don't expect an apology, but I wanted to offer one anyway. I'm sorry about the way I behaved, it was inappropriate. [ Shiro wouldn't need an apology from someone in his situation either, and yet. ] I appreciate everything that you and Keith did to keep me stable and safe.
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[His smile widens, just a little.]
But it's fine, believe me. And as apologies go, I likely owe your friend Keith one, myself. I don't think he appreciated the rather, ah...possessive stance I took toward you, when he first turned up looking for you.
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Keith has saved me from some sticky situations in the past, he doesn't like it when his friends are out of reach. It's one of his best qualities. [ A hand waves dismissively. ] He doesn't hold a grudge. In fact, I think you scored brownie points with him for taking in Captain Hot-Mess the way you did.
[ The mirth softens his smile, grey eyes warm on Ignis. ]
You were good to me, I won't forget that. Neither of us will.
no subject
[A quiet beat.]
I wouldn't have let walls stop me if I'd been the one in his position, frankly.
[Ignis Scientia, liberator of an entire Imperial-occupied city, mostly as a side effect of trying to get to his king.]
I hope the self-deprecation is to make you feel more at ease, and not to try to bait me into flattering you. I'll flatter you entirely of my own accord, thank you very much.
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Bait —? No! I would never, I wouldn't — that's not how I meant to come off.
[ Sheesh. Can he live behind his facepalm, at least? Oh god, does Ignis fancy him? Is this real life? The last time a man wanted to flatter him it was literal years ago, he's out of practice. ]
I'm, um, not really looking for ...
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[Very, very, very, very very taken. Since as long as he can remember, taken. Since the day he first laid eyes on his prince, taken.]
For a pilot, navigator, and captain of your own space vessel, you're remarkably easy to fluster, Shiro.
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I don't all that often have handsome men saying they'll flatter me whenever they feel like it! You're a troll, Ignis. No mint tea for you ever, buddy.
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[Says this guy.]
If it makes you feel better, prior to my current relationship I'd not been the subject of anyone's romantic interest...well, ever, really. I've never had much of a personal life to begin with; my work always took first precedence.
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[ The flat look Shiro gives him says he could have said those exact words about work meaning more than romantic relationships and meant every one. It's not in his nature to share personal details at the drop of a hat but Ignis was unfortunately yeeted into the deep end, so it can't be all that weird to get the guy's history laid out on a platter in return. It could be a friendly gesture to make Shiro feel more at ease. ]
Adam was my first real partner. [ The details aren't owed, he knows, but it feels better to be on the level with Ignis (who is with Prompto, Shiro assumes from his earlier protectiveness), and Shiro is comfortable enough with the fire crackling away in his own house to divulge a bit more, this time on his terms and not that of a fever. ] We broke up under unfriendly circumstances, then I left Earth on a mission. When I came back he was dead, we never got to ... to reconcile our differences.
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[Unless it's fishing for details, which he knows is what Shiro meant, which is entirely not the point. The point is, Shiro's right; this is about trying to garner information, because that's simply what Ignis does and it's not really a habit that he can just up and turn off. Knowledge is power, and anything new he learns is useful, and anything he can coax out of a new potential ally is significant.
...And yet. Normally, he wouldn't be this open about his own experiences in return, would he? There are better tactics for extracting information, so why this one?
It dawns on him, slowly, that this may be the first time in a year that he's actually just sat and...talked with someone that he didn't on some level feel maternally responsible for. No one's really managed to occupy a space like this since —
...
Gladio. It's like talking to Gladio. Except that even here, he can be more honest, because Shiro isn't like Gladio, isn't tied up in duty to Noctis like they both are, isn't a part of the things that Ignis sometimes needs to find release from.]
I...had suspected as much, from your reaction. You have my condolences.
[He debates asking about the mission, which seems to have been the source of the divide, but then decides against going after it directly. It's clearly a sore spot, and Shiro seems to have enough of those already.]
Back home, I...never focused much on "missed opportunities". I chose the course of my life at a young age, and I accepted that wholeheartedly. I understood, or so I told myself, that it would come with sacrifices.
[He shrugs a little.]
I don't regret any of it. But occasionally Prompto will point out some staple of childhood that I never participated in, because of my choices, and I'll come to realize that my own was quite the atypical childhood, what little of one I had to begin with.
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You knew what you wanted and you went for it. If I'd known you when I was little, I might have looked up to you a lot.
[ It doesn't come as any surprise that Ignis, seemingly responsible to a fault, had a solemn youth spent doggedly following one ideal. He isn't a bad person for it, it just makes more sense when putting his loyalty to Prompto in perspective from a new angle.
Shiro bites his lip, attention sliding to the pop of the caged fire. ]
Keith ... He knew me when I was ill, before things changed for me back home. [ Details he won't delve into just yet. There is mild wonder in his voice when he talks about his best friend, softened in tone. ] He saw me when I was in pain because of a disease I was born with, that's why I'm so grateful to you for taking both of us in like you did. I used to hide the worst of it from him. You didn't know it, but you were saving him from shouldering a responsibility that was pretty scary for him: me, just ... being sick again, for whatever reason. I never wanted him to have to deal with me like that.
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[Which is a subtle difference, but one that he's come to learn is infinitely significant, a revelation he's had only so very recently. He's never doubted that this tenure in service to the crown, serving Noct, is what he wants. It is, and that will never change. And when he was six years old, and the question was do you want this, the answer had been "yes" then, too.
But sometimes he wonders if it was the only thing he would've wanted, over the years. There's a difference between "The thing I want" and "The only thing I want", after all. He can say with absolute certainty that this is the life that he wanted, and he wouldn't take it back.
But sometimes he wonders what it must feel like to not know precisely what one wants to do with the rest of their life. To examine a field of options and try them all. Maybe there would've been something different he wanted, too. Opening his own restaurant, like Coctura and Weskham had each done. Teaching, maybe. A doctor; he could've been a doctor, perhaps.
He could've wanted a lot of things, maybe. But in his life he's only ever wanted the one.]
I can't help but observe that you're speaking of the disease in past tense. Can I...presume that a treatment was discovered, then?
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At some point, he started wanting to give those same stars to Keith. They didn't mean anything without him. ]
It was a degenerative disease, nothing contagious. [ The deja-vu of needing to make that point when someone used to find out, setting them at peace of mind even before they felt the need to ask, is easier than he remembers it being. No one Ignis loves would have caught anything. ] Nerve damage, rapid onset muscular atrophy that would have killed me by thirty or so. Keith saw it beginning to take hold, occasionally.
[ Swallowing, he finds his appetite for the casserole has vanished, leaving a heavy weight in his stomach. ]
There was no cure, but I'm fine now. That's cryptic, sorry.
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[Iggy, your eyes!, Prompto had said, so surprised when they'd first met up with each other. What happened? You can see! — as though there'd been the expectation that, for some reason, he couldn't.]
I realize we've only just met, and that this is truly none of my business. However, given that you likely do owe me some debt of gratitude for taking you in when you arrived here in the condition you were in, I'm going to forego propriety and simply ask bluntly.
[He glances up, fixing Shiro with a steady look.]
"I'm fine" is what people say to set others at ease, not to describe their own condition. So tell me plainly. Is this something that's going to afflict you again?
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It can't come back.
[ This isn't the body that bore it. Sitting quietly with Ignis, there's a kind of peace, a weak smile making Shiro reach out a boot to nudge Ignis's shoe. ]
I'm okay, Ignis, I promise. Now you're really starting to sound like Adam.
[ So worried, concern burrowed deep in the marrow of his bones so that eventually, by the time they grew apart and he made Shiro choose between him or his own dreams, Shiro couldn't see anything in those hazel eyes except for a reminder about his condition. ]
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[His smile here is wry, but it's there. A boot bumps against his shoe, and after a second he bumps it right back.]
I appreciate the clarification, however. It's good to know it's no longer a concern.
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